The Frontstretch: Top Ten New Rules for Racing in Mexico by Mistie Bibbee -- Tuesday March 8, 2005

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Top Ten New Rules for Racing in Mexico

Mistie Bibbee · Tuesday March 8, 2005

 

10. It is not acceptable to race a dog on the track unless it has paid NASCAR’s entry fee.

9. DW’s "Boogity Boogity Boogity" will now be replaced with Speedy Gonzalez’s "¡Arriba, arriba, arriba, ándale, ándale, ándale!"

8. The track’s name will be change from Autodromo Hermanos Rodriguez to Watkin’s Glen- Southern Annex in order to gain more acceptance with the fans.

7. If you qualified on the front row but have to go to the rear of the field due to an engine change, it is now OK for a competitor’s crew chief to knee you in the groin because you are an evil engine changer.

6. If DW is going to lose his voice each time NASCAR goes to Mexico, the entire season will be run down there.

5. Lysol will be the next official sponsor of a race in Mexico if the track continues to insist on selling burritos.

4. No sombreros allowed in the grandstands. It blocks the view of the person behind you.

3. The prize money will be in pesos in the future due to the excellent exchange rate.

2. Unlike at ISC tracks, it’s highly recommended that you bring your own water into the track.

1. Instead of hiring the guards to escort the haulers from the border to the track the real race will be to let the cars loose to see who can make it from the border to the track and back on their own.

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©2000 - 2008 Mistie Bibbee and Frontstetch.com. Thanks for visiting the Frontstretch!

Dick
03/09/2005 08:03 AM
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Funny article except the shot at DW.
Deb
03/09/2005 01:29 PM
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Very Funny!!!
Bob
03/09/2005 04:21 PM
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Maybe three or four funnies, the rest is about as funny and stereotypical as the most simplistic redneck jokes.
Paul
03/10/2005 08:49 AM
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Funny article, especially the shot at DW(DimWit)
Chris
03/11/2005 06:25 AM
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HECK.. I thought the shot at DW was the BEST one :-)
Gary
03/11/2005 10:05 AM
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DW was a pompas, concieted ass back in the sixties and remained that way through his retirement. I don’t think he’s suddenly going to morph into Ghandi simply because some jackass put him in the broadcast booth…
Jggirl2448
03/11/2005 01:58 PM
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I too hate DW. And the above numbers are not stereotypical. I see the humor, and I like how someone gets Montezuma’s revenge, and gets ill, and it’s considered redneck… nothing is more Mexican! :)

 

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Mistie no longer writes for the Frotnstch, but if you'd like to know more about her, check out her archive and bio page.