The Frontstretch: The Top Ten Things the Suspended Crew Chiefs Will Do on Their “Vacations” by Mistie Bibbee -- Tuesday March 15, 2005

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10. Think of additional ways to get more “vacation” days from NASCAR.

9. Practice their darts. Strangely, the bull’s eye closely resembles Mike Helton.

8. Test out NASCAR’s security personnel by dressing up as a pit lizard and trying to sneak into the track.

7. Hey, they had to make time for those ballet lessons they’ve been dying for somehow.

6. Write on the chalk board 2500 times “I will never cheat again”. (While their fingers are crossed behind their back the entire time.)

5. Audition to sing the National Anthem for the race that weekend. I mean, then NASCAR has to let them into the track.. right?!?!?

4. Sit at home and endure the same pain and suffering the fans go through each week when they watch the TV broadcast.

3. Work a shift or two at McDonalds to earn money to pay off their fines.

2. Send singing telegrams to the NASCAR trailer every 30 minutes. Nothing like a singing and dancing gorilla to tell NASCAR how much you miss them.

1. Catch up with a few NCAA basketball coaches and teach them how to bend the rules to help their teams become more aerodynamic.

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Beyond the Cockpit: Alexis DeJoria On The 300 mph Women of the NHRA
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Thinkin’ Out Loud – The Off Week Season Review
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Recent articles from Mistie Bibbee:

Mistie Bibbee
Best of the Top Ten: Top Ten Reasons Why I am Retiring from the Frontstretch
Best of Top Ten: Top Ten Things I Learned During the Daytona 500
Best of Top Ten: Top Ten Names For Next October's Race in Charlotte
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Mistie no longer writes for the Frotnstch, but if you'd like to know more about her, check out her archive and bio page.