Matt McLaughlin · Monday March 1, 2010
The Key Moment: With sixteen laps left to run Jimmie Johnson, shod with four fresh tires, passed race leader Jeff Gordon, who had just two (and two worn ones) to take the lead and eventually the win.
In a Nutshell: Man, I’ve seen more damned passing on a merry-go-round.
Dramatic Moment: It was an afternoon totally bereft of drama, a good nap spoiled. An utterly insipid excuse of a sporting event.
What They’ll Be Talking About Around the Water Cooler This Week

As Jimmie Johnson sprayed champagne Sunday, NASCAR fans were looking to drink for different reasons after a fifth straight year of Hendrick dominance appears imminent.
Hopefully, SportsCenter is going to show that decisive pass Johnson made on Gordon a bunch; that’d benefit the majority of fans who’d already dozed off by that point.
While there’s a lot of races left to go, fans dreading yet another HMS juggernaut this season have reason to be concerned.
I have my own guess as to why those caution lights kept turning on inexplicably at Las Vegas in what was yet another black eye for the sport. FOX had wired a mouth-controlled remote to the jaws of hundreds of fans across the country, and when the action got so tepid and predictable, they drifted off to sleep. With their jaws in the wide open “fly-catching” position, the caution lights were triggered to spice up the action and jolt them awake…
OK, the Olympics are over. NASCAR officials are going to have to hurriedly do an about face and blame the college basketball tournament for their lackluster ratings. Remember back when they told us stock car racing was the second biggest sport to the NFL?
None of the Ford teams chose to run the new FR9 engine at Las Vegas. I don’t know about you, but if I got my butt kicked by my crosstown rivals three weeks in a row to start the season, I think I’d be pulling everything but the lint out of my bag of tricks at Atlanta next week. If you’re going to go down, at least go down in a blaze of glory. It worked for Bon Jovi, right?
A quick note to Kyle Busch… when storming off after a Nationwide event, it behooves one to be surrounded by one’s entourage to avoid appearing like a spoiled little monster taking his ball and going home. Doing it solo just looks foolish and probably makes one’s sponsor wonder why they’re writing those big checks.
After Saturday’s successful if trouble-plagued Nationwide race, team owner Kevin Harvick has officially ended his pit crew’s pre-race ritual of staying up all night watching Three Stooges episodes while drinking grain alcohol with hookers.
Fifty years ago today, one Richard Petty won his first race in NASCAR’s top division at the old Charlotte Fairgrounds on North Tryon Street, showing his Plymouth’s tailfins to the other 20 cars in the field. The crowd on hand to witness this achievement, which is perhaps only notable in hindsight, numbered 7,900… a figure that almost equals last week’s crowd at Fontana. One of Petty’s top 10 race-winning purses that year, the victory paid a sum of eight hundred dollars. My guess is Jimmie Johnson would drop that amount of money out of his pocket and not bother to bend over and pick it up.
Rain in the desert helped spoil Part Tres of the Danica Patrick experiment. Is this God’s way of saying, “Hey, Hun, you might want to consider keeping your shirt on?” Let the record show that Ms. Patrick’s toe-dipping dalliance into Nationwide racing resulted in an average finish of 34th in three starts, with one race actually completed, well ahead of many start and park teams but somewhat behind many teams that never garnered a moment of airtime. Oh, and for the record I have to agree with one poster who commented on my column last week. Minus the glam treatment for commercials, Ms. Patrick in race day trim does indeed resemble Eddie Munster. (For those who would argue Eddie…er…Danica was taken out in two crashes not of her own making, I counter that given the equipment she had, she shouldn’t have been running back there with the least common denominators. When you’re playing in the sandbox with the stupid kids, you have to expect to get a cat turd shoved in your ear from time to time.)
Jon Wes Townley, a Nationwide driver for RCR, was cited for underage possession of alcohol this week in Vegas. Who does this guy think he is… a member of the Canadian women’s hockey team?
Jimmie Johnson won his 49th Cup event to take over 12th on the all-time list. I will say that FOX commentators’ assertion that David Pearson (who has won 105 events in NASCAR’s top division, second only to Richard Petty) better start looking in his rear-view mirror is simply farcical, though. You know, there was an era they thought Jeff Gordon was going to bypass the Silver Fox for race wins, too, but now victories are few and far between for Boy Wonder.
Give this track its due. Las Vegas is the one NASCAR speedway where the pace car (a 2011 Shelby GT350 this year) is cooler than the race cars.
Longtime readers know I’m like a volunteer fireman, which means I’m never off duty. This week, a good friend needed his buddy with a pickup truck to take him to Lowe’s to pick up some plumbing parts after a winter-related plumbing disaster. On a whim, or perhaps because he took me out for dinner and a few beers before the trip, I decided to check the NASCAR knowledge of employees of the home improvement center that backs our four-time Cup champion here in eastern Pennsylvania. The original plan was to ask ten employees, but the folks at the store were so helpful as I wandered around looking clueless and bored (I do auto parts, not home improvement) that I talked to twelve of them. Of the twelve, four correctly identified Jimmie Johnson as the driver of the No. 48 car. We’ll give half points to Mike, who knew that the reigning champion drove for Jeff Gordon (sic). But the best answer of the night goes to Anne, who told me, “I’ve seen him, but when I’m off I tend to watch This Old House… not racing.”
Is there some sort of competition between NASCAR drivers to be filmed wearing the ugliest set of sunglasses this season?
Not at all racing-related, but a heads up to my loyal readers. If the quaint village of Guthriesville gets another foot of snow or suffers another extended power outage, my columns will be posted a few days late. It takes a few days for handwritten missives written in crayon to float to the east coast in a coconut from the islands.
The Hindenburg Award For Foul Fortune
Jeff Gordon led 219 laps, only to have questionable pit road strategy cost him a probable race win.
Pole winner Kurt Busch never even led the first lap, and eventually got caught up in an intramural wreck between EGR teammates Juan Pablo Montoya and Jamie McMurray. Note to Chip: You might want to keep JPM and McMurray a few seats apart at tomorrow’s team meeting to discuss this latest screwing on the pooch.
Kyle Busch’s late race speeding penalty dropped last year’s winner of this event to a fifteenth place finish. After the race, he was seen beating a baby seal pup with an aluminum baseball bat. At least this time, he didn’t use a guitar…

Kevin Harvick made a late charge to second in his Pennzoil Ultra Chevrolet, the second week in a row he’s finished runner-up behind Jimmie Johnson.
The “Seven Come Fore Eleven” Award For Fine Fortune
Jimmie Johnson had to overcome a rare botched pit stop by the No. 48 team, when several lug nuts were dropped, on the way to his second consecutive Cup win.
Kevin Harvick wrecked in practice Friday, but won Saturday’s Nationwide race and finished second on Sunday in the Cup event. So all in all, it was a pretty productive weekend for him.
Matt Kenseth had to overcome a wheel left loose during a pit stop en route to a fifth place finish.
Greg Biffle ran strong early, but got boxed into his pit stall midway through the event and fell back to 25th. He eventually rallied to a tenth place finish on a track where passing was at a premium.
Kasey Kahne was penalized for running over an air hose in his pits and fell a lap off the pace at one point. As a result, his eventual ninth place finish has to be a moral victory – especially after wrecking his car the last two weeks.
Worth Noting
- Jimmie Johnson has won eight races since Jeff Gordon last rang the bell in Texas last spring. Cue up the Eagles, ‘cause there’s a New Kid in Town, and you’re still arowwwwwww-nnnd. How bad is it getting? Jimmie Johnson has won two titles in the last two-plus years (four consecutive titles now, actually.) In the same two-plus-year period, Gordon has won just one race.
- Johnson has now won .666 percent of this year’s points-paying Cup races. Biblical scholars, take note of that number…
- Kevin Harvick, Clint Bowyer, Greg Biffle, and Matt Kenseth have top 10 finishes in all three points-paying races this season.
- The top 10 finishers at Las Vegas drove six Chevys (including four that claimed the top four spots), three Fords, and a Toyota. The top finishing Dodge was Brad Cause-a-catastrophe…er… I mean Keselowski in 26th.
- If we’re going to have a Rookie of the Year this season, Kevin Conway needs to stop running into stuff.
- Kevin Harvick (second) has back-to-back top 5 finishes over the last two weeks. That’s an accomplishment he failed to pull off all of last year.
- Mark Martin has finished fourth in his last two Cup events.
- Matt Kenseth (fifth) has three consecutive top 10 finishes this year, a feat he never pulled off last year despite winning the first two races.
- Joey Logano (sixth) has strung together two top 10 finishes for the first time since Darlington and Charlotte last May.
- Tony Stewart’s seventh place finish was his best since Fort Worth last fall.
- Among the notable drivers still looking for their first top 10 finish in the Cup series in 2010 we find Kyle Busch, Denny Hamlin, Brad Keselowski, and Ryan Newman.
What’s the Points?
Why are we even bothering to discuss this three races in, with ten miles behind us and ten thousand more to go?
Yeah, OK, this is why I get paid the big bucks. Kevin Harvick continues leading the points. That would be a big deal if this was November, not March. He leads teammate Clint Bowyer by 47.
Mark Martin moved up three spots in the standings to third, and trails Bowyer by two points. Matt Kenseth also moved up three spots to fourth, and trails Martin by just nine points.
Look out! Jimmie Johnson leapfrogged seven spots up to sixth in the standings and is now just 63 points out of the lead. Haven’t we seen this Looney Tune somewhere before?
Kyle Busch desperately clings to the coveted 12th place in the standings, the final Chase spot, by his well-polished fingernails emblematic of the Boy-Bitch he is. He leads Jeff Gordon by just two points.
Further back, Daytona 500 winner Jamie McMurray fell another ten spots to fourteenth in the standings. Winning Daytona pays well monetarily, but it’s just one of 36 races on the schedule points-wise.
The sport’s Most Popular driver, Dale Earnhardt, Jr., (his bad old self) has moved up to fifteenth in the standings. That puts Junior all of nine points ahead of lesser-known Scott Speed, who I believe is driving cars rented from Hertz at the airport in this year’s Cup events. Of course, Speed is likely to drop further in the standings after learning someone placed a macramé plant holder atop his head prior to the Vegas race.
Among those who have dug themselves a nice-sized burrow in the points early in the season (And remember, a burrow is a hole in the ground, a burro is an ass. It’s important to be able to tell the difference between the two) we find Kurt Busch (19th), Denny Hamlin (22nd), Kasey Kahne (23rd), and Ryan Newman (32nd). Yes, we’re still just three races into the season, but I hereby award Newman fans the right to start panicking. Just do it outside my earshot.
Overall Rating (On a scale of one to six beer cans, with one being a stinker and a six-pack an instant classic) – We’ll give this parade one lukewarm can of generic stuff skunked by the desert sun. I know I’ve seen worse races, but as I grow old and my mind goes soft, I can’t remember the last of them this bad. Maybe that’s a blessing.
Next Up: After a less than successful two-race Western swing, the Cup series heads back to its spiritual roots for a little Southern Comfort at Atlanta.
Contact Matt McLaughlin
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I knew it would be three races and the old Matt would be back.
I bet Danica is dreading the thought of coming back to Nascar in a few months. She has proven to be all sizzle and no steak, All hat and no cattle, all boots and no saddle. After seeing her Saturday I would say she needs to learn where the brake pedal is and learn how to watch for slow moving vehicles. One more thing about Danica, Eddie Munster was played by Butch Patrick. I wonder if there’s a family tie there, hence the resemblance.
Expect the ratings to plummet next week since Jimmie Johnson is on a roll, and look for Nascar to pull out the stops to end the Johnson Express. Maybe they can find something illegal or slightly out of spec with his ride and make the charges stick this time.
Matt- go back to monster trucks and RC racing. NASCAR just isn’t for you.
That was one of the worst I’ve ever seen. Thank God I DVR’d it and ran through it in about 45 minutes after the hockey game. Talk about two polar opposite events. They need to let the crews tinker with the car again. The COT has just ruined the sport.
Look, this race is the epitome of what “old school” fans talk about from yesteryear.
A dominant car – ala Petty – lapping the field with a handful of cars finishing on the lead lap or in contention to win. What else do you guys want?
Just because the guy in victory lane doesn’t have a bumbling souther accent doesn’t make the race a snoozer.
Yeah Matt , i’ll bet David Pearson is really losing sleep over Johnson winning races .
You might want to re-check your facts there Matt . I looked up the Nationwide finishing order for the last three races and it looks like Ms. Patrick finished ahead of a lot more than start and parks . I also noticed her PASSING a number of good drivers . I know this will fly in the face of your agenda , but give the girl more than three races to prove herself , and i think she’ll show us she deserves to be on camera . Not every minute of course , but thats hardly her fault . The idiot directors and producers at FAUX ( and the FAUX owned SPEED ) are the ones who decide who gets on camera .
Margarrita Chicken
03/01/2010 07:48 AM
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I think other teams such as Penske, Rousch, and RCR should become start and park teams to save money and spend more time and money testing. Come back to the race track when you have competitive cars that can run with the Hendrick cars.
Not being much of a open-wheel racing fan, I’d never really heard Danica Patrick interviewed. However, I caught her interview after she was wrecked out of the Nationwide race on Saturday. If her ability to race a stock car ever matches her ego, she’s going to win a lot of races.
A family matter came up and I ended up missing the cup race yesterday. I’ve never loved my family more than I did when I read about the race last night.
When did Brad Crashalotske become a notable?
I’m glad I didn’t bother to watch the race. The hockey game was a 6 pack!
Is there any barrier strong enough to keep Shelby from elbowing his way in front of the camera , any camera ? The champion of that behavior is of course Rick Hendrick , who has demonstrated his ability to follow camera crews around and then knock all in his way aside to get his face on live tv . But Shelby makes the list in second place by a barrage of self promotion this weekend .
1st to Mark 08:38 AM, Be real, the only reason DP passed anybody was because they wrecked out earlier than she did….stop drinking the Danica Cool Aid and you’ll feel much better…..
Now on to the Farce of Cup Race…all I can say is WTF?????
If that Golden Horse shoe of JJ’s isn’t solid it sure must be Gold Plated. One has to wonder, if Jimmie Johnson and Chad Kanus never met would anybody even know who Jimmie Johnson is?????
And please somebody tell me what happened to Jr.? I’m serious I took my nap around lap 20 Jr was running around 6th, I woke up around lap 167 Jr was running 11th. I took the dog for a walk came back in with 33 laps left and Jr. was being waved around to take a blistering 15th??
Now I’m being serious what happened??? Bad Pitstop? Did they over adjust the car what???
Thanks in advance.
Maybe I’ll be able to stay awake for Atlanta..
Michael…
Don’t knock Rick Hendrick for being a camera hog. With as many races and championships as he’s bought and paid for, he obviously deserves to be front-and-center of all things Nascar related.
Dansmom..
“Just because the guy in victory lane doesn’t have a bumbling souther accent doesn’t make the race a snoozer.”
I didn’t see anything here saying that it did.
what is with this wave around thing? confuses me, i guess they do it to keep the fans confused and to help jr get back on the lead lap when lucky dog is busy.
i watched the beginning of the race, saw kim kardashian, saw her as co-grand marshall and she couldn’t get a word out when giving the starting command. maybe her hair was pulled back too tightly, talk about dumb looking, dazed and confused that girl was at vegas. i switched to the hockey game, flipped over back to racing, saw who took lead (johnson), went back to hockey game.
Seeing yesterday’s race just made me think more about saving the money and not going to Atlanta this coming weekend. However, right now, old Mother Nature seems like she’ll be in a good mood come race weekend.
NA$CAR will always have some excuse about lack of attendance. They said Bruton sold out the track. Sure looked like that one section of track didn’t have any butts in the seats. But overall the butt in seats ratio looked good.
MJR in Springfield Va
03/01/2010 08:54 AM
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If there is a contest, JPM will win shades down. Did you notice last week after on of his interviews he walked away, took of those stupid looking red and white things and handed then to his handler? It cracks me up to watch the driver promote products…one sip here…one sip there…right glasses….stickers…etc.
You know one day, the handlers are going to hand a driver the “promoted-drink-of-the-day” and he’ll take one big ole well deserved slug, spit it half way cross the county, and demand to know the hell is this crap….all live of course. Can’t wait!!!
it’s official. chad must have sold his soul to the devil. we’ve seen everything but the contract.
Usually Vegas has some decent racing. Not this year. This race was so boring that I kept switching to the NBA games that were on tv. And Johnson dominating again has to be real good fo the sport. NOT!!! I never thought I’d say this, but the Fontana race was more exciting then the Vegas race. One last thing. DansMom must also be JimmiesMom. Two wins in a row for Johnson this early in the season proves he’s a great driver, but it also will chase fans away even more because why watch when one driver wins all the time.
I guess it was a blessing that I watched the gold medal hockey game. That deserved a gold medal in itself, while the race – deserved a lead medal from potholes.
There was a race on yesterday? Great hockey game though!!!
leedanielson –
Jimmie Johnson didn’t dominate the race, Jeff Gordon did. You obviously didn’t watch the race.
LaTarte(?) deserves to be demoted after that stupid call on Sunday. He finally figured out the car and then figured out how to sabatoge the win by calling for two tires. Jeff had plenty of time to take four and the car to stay in front. Hang ‘em high!
Matt-
Maybe you could give old Jon boy a break seeing as how he’s competing in a Sport who’s sponsored by Coors Light (the official beer of NASCAR) and allowed hard liquor and multiple beer sponsors to plaster their names across moving billboards on weekly basis. Not, like you’ve ever had an alchohol related run-in with the law… oh wait, did you write something last week?
And maybe we could poll the sponsors of this website and see how many of their employess have heard of you. I’m willing ot bet WAY less than 33%. Or would one half of Carey and Coffey count as a majority?
- Side bar: I bet they’ve ALL heard of Danica.
I’d like to echo Ann’s thoughts. I’m surprised LeTarte has gotten a free pass from almost everyone after that 2-tire call Sunday. Although, I’m not in agreement with the guy who called into Wind Tunnel last night wanting Letart to be fired – those are the kind of calls a championship team doesn’t make.
Kind of reminds me of prevent defense in the 4th quarter of a football game with a 6 point lead. All it does is prevent you from winning the game.
I’d rather send my driver out with the message “go win us one” than “go hang on to this one”.
Dans Muther,
Back in the good old days when a driver was spanking the field we would all wait with baited breath for the engine to blow, transmission to fry or bias plies to shread. Back in the good old days the drivers and teams would race on the ragged edge of man and machine for the win, and the brands and engines were all different and not controlled by as many rules as today. Back then they were innovating, interpreting the rules and going all out for the wins, and would run the car WFO until it won or blew up.
Todays racing features vanilla spec cars, bullet proof engines and milque toast drivers controlled by sponsors. When a driver dominates you can take mechanical failure out of the picture, and knowing all the cars are the same one can bet the rest of the field only has a chance for the lead in the next pit cycle.
Back in the day a good driver could also manhandle a car when the set up was off, unlike todays COT that comes down to all set up. Give me the old skool any day over todays scripted and controlled circus.
Ann and VaBluegrass,
I understand where you are coming from but there was no guarentee that Gordon would come out first if he got 4 tires. Johnson’s crew ripped off that last pitstop in under 12 seconds (I can’t believe that but that’s what Fox’s timing indicated). That is an incredibly fast pitstop. Chances are Gordon would have came out behind Johnson and with Bowyer staying out would have lined up third. If a couple of guys would have taken two that could have moved him back a few more spots. Letarte opted for track position, which if a few guys would have taken two and beat Johnson out could have paid off. I’d put this in the damned if you do damned if you don’t category. Another case of hindsight being 20/20.
Mini-Me’s winning average is .667, not .666 :-P
This seems to be the new standard procedure for watching races:
1) Turn on Tv about 30~60 min after announced start time to avoid Digger and lame pre-race show.
2) Check to see if 24 or 48 in the lead.
3) If so, either watch something else or play Nintendo with the boys.
I used to:
1. watch every lap of every race. You wouldn’t catch me going to the grocery store during a race like I did yesterday.
2. read every word from Matt. Not any more.
3. Read every responce from every reader. Not any more.
rewind>>>play
rewind>>>play
rewind>>>play
Holy crap, this is damn near unfixable!
Hey ESPN bashers, HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR TELECASTS NOW!!!! That was AWFUL! FOX has funked it up good – and getting worse by each and every lap. It used to be the first lap was silent, the booth goofs would’nt speak until the lead car crossed the line to score the first lap. Not yesterday, friggin Waltrip had to open his freakin blow hole as they’re coming out of turn two of the start. 2009, 2008, 2007 all over again!!!
This is about it for me. I honestly don’t know whats keeping my interest.
Matt said: which is perhaps only notable in hindsight, numbered 7,900… a figure that almost equals last week’s crowd at Fontana.
You got it backwards again. It was 9,700.
I cant believe LVMS would put on a worse race than Fontana, amd Matt admits it. That’s it, hell has frozen over.
I have looked at Danica’s practice times, qualifying times and race results, it appears that she is not even competitive in top flight equipment. I was disgusted by the announcers making a big deal out of her running third at one time. It’s not as if she actually raced her way by all those Nascar drivers. Cant wait til she goes to the Louden track, she won’t have a clue there either.
“That’s it, hell has frozen over. damned if you do damned if you don’t”
LeTarteif works for Rick Hendrick, Jeff own part of Hendrick, Jimmy Johnson IS
NOT THAT GOOD, Chad IS, Chad could make Jeff a seven time champ. Jeff chose wrong.
Good review Matt. Some of my comments:
In the old days the manufacturer could make changes to the production car and use that template in Winston Cup. We would biatch about it and then our manufacturer would make changes to leap frog. Now it’s just the Hendricks show and we all live in it. Not JJ fault, he’s a good driver but it’s ruining the sport. I wish Nascrap would take teams that owned more than one car and randomly assign the race car to the driver. So JJ or JG would not know what Hendrick car they get that weekend until assigned. That would show the real drivers skills.
About the Ford engines, with the Chase for Chumps teams won’t experiment due to points racing. If they gave 200 extra points to win a race they would.
I see DE Jr dropped like a elevator with no cable attached again. I’m thinking Hendrick is wondering what the hell he’ll do after this year, will he fire him?
The caution lights fiasco is just “Miss Terry Debree” disguised. What better way to get side by side action then a few fake cautions blamed on the track. They probably paid someone to stand by the light plug in and wiggle it a few times during the race.
The Busch series race was actually really great.
Announcers said Kahne went a lap down due to running over hose, but scoring did not show him a lap down. I think it’s a tail end penalty, but then when they allow all the cars ahead of the leader to lap around, he gets to go ahead of them. So he restarted in 10th and finished in 9th. Otherwise he’d have been down the order more, there were around 20 cars on lead lap I think?
24 team “LeFart” messed up not taking 4 tires. When you have the best car all day long you take 4 and make them beat you. There were tons of laps left. Major boo boo for Jeffy poo.
Well, until the next boring Hendrick fest have a good week.
When the checkered flag dropped we heard the strangest, loudest, noise. Upon further review, we realized it was just DansMom’s shuddering, orgasmic response to the race results.
steve-o,“I have looked at Danica’s practice times, qualifying times and race results, it appears that she is not even competitive in top flight equipment.” Kinda sounds like her car owner now doesn’t it?
No wonder Gordon wasn’t too distraught considering he owns half of the race winning car. Who does Steve LeFarce really work for?
Kudos to BadWolf again. NA$CAR’s “new generation” fans are easy to spot, aren’t they.
BadWolf-
Waiting for a car to fail isn’t racing. That’s the demolition derby.
Tuned in with ten laps to go. The FOX nerds were “going through the field.” I knew it was time to tune back out.
Thank goodness Jamie MacDonald’s took out Juan-Mon or the most exciting thing about this race would have been the caution lights thinking they were part of the strip. I have a theory about that: I think I may have heard somewhere that those sweet Shelbys were made at a shop on the track grounds? Maybe I was just dreaming that over and over. Anyway, could an enterprising employee have snuck in overnight and adjusted the caution lights so the pace car gets more time at the head of the pack? ;)
oh…and did Carrot Top frighten anyone else just a little? I thought it was that crazy clown from the video game come to wreak havoc on the race fans.