Man, can you believe NASCAR? Those Ford engines were cranking out some serious horsepower at Kansas and it sure looked like they could be a threat to Jimmie Johnson, so NASCAR had to fiddle with Greg Biffle’s, Carl Edwards’ and Matt Kenseth’s just to make sure the No. 48 was safe. NASCAR also knew that Kyle Busch was still in the hunt, too, so they had to screw with his engine as well before his brash style they can’t stand would be right in front of the cameras each week sitting in the #1 spot. Don’t worry, they’re going to do something to Denny Hamlin next; they just want to wait awhile and let him feel that he’s still in it. They want him to hurt more when they mess with him… it’s one of the “unannounced” punishments along with Hamlin’s fine for talking smack on NASCAR on Twitter.
What’s that? You don’t believe what I just wrote? Why not? Come on, you have a conspiracy theory about NASCAR you believe, don’t you? Doesn’t everyone? Get out some paper and a pen and take some notes. This method is how starting one of those conspiracies is done.
Consider Clint Bowyer your conspiracy theory advocate. We all need a driver that we can believe in… one of us, if you will. He is now the latest anointed leader, calling out that mystery debris caution near the end of Sunday’s race.
That debris that caused the “mystery caution” — Bowyer’s words, not mine — was there the whole time on the final run according to the driver himself. Since NASCAR was sick of Richard Childress Racing’s cheating and Bowyer’s press conference at Dover, they wanted to make him work for the win. Bowyer ended up losing, so once again, NASCAR wins.
But don’t stop there. Remember Bowyer’s performances at Dover and Kansas? They were pretty pitiful. You know why they were pitiful? He was driving a legal car those two races. He was the “random” car after those races and the car passed inspection. Coincidence? I think not. Plus, Bowyer’s car got off scot free this week because Paul Menard was the “random.”
It’s obvious that Menard has been driving an illegal car lately. Look at his performances! You can expect the penalties for Menard and Richard Petty Motorsports later this week. (Bowyer’s engine was taken back to R&D after the race, but they haven’t been cheating on the engines, so it’s a moot point)
The guy that benefited from that mystery caution? Don’t make much of his chances. Sure, the script may call for Tony Stewart to make a run and keep a fairly large segment of the fan base interested in the Chase for a few more weeks, but remember, he gets his equipment from Hendrick Motorsports. Now that Stewart is a threat, you can guarantee that he’s going to be getting Dale Earnhardt, Jr.‘s hand-me-downs from here on out. If NASCAR found out that Hendrick was giving someone else other than Jimmie Johnson the best equipment, Mr. Hendrick would be banned for life for actions detrimental to the sport.
Oh, yeah, let’s talk about Junior. You know why he gets the Lucky Dale, err, Dog, so often, right? It’s NASCAR’s grand plan to keep Junior fans interested this season. No one loves a comeback story more than sports fans, and nothing will get NASCAR on the map more than Junior’s comeback in 2011. Forget the news about ratings and attendance at the present moment. When Junior wins half of the races next year, NASCAR ratings during the Chase will be higher than NFL games. Sales will be at an all-time high. Auto Club Speedway will sell out for their 2012 race in 2011.
But back to Jimmie. NASCAR loves having a guy who’s clean cut and as far removed from the moonshining history of the sport as its champion. Plus, Jimmie grew up in a trailer park, and that resonates with a good portion of the NASCAR fan base. But we all know that Jimmie winning four in a row at ACS would be too transparent for even the poorest and stupidest NASCAR fans, so they had to make sure that he finished third there.
Why third? Well, that meant that he still got ample media exposure because the top three finishers go to the media center. Plus, the two guys that finished ahead of Johnson were 10th and 12th in the standings, respectively, going into the race. Jimmie looked dethroned, but he actually extended his points lead. That’s good planning.
So, all you Theorists rejoice! NASCAR is making sure you stay busy this 2010 season.
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