The Frontstretch: No Bull: This is How You Make a NASCAR Conspiracy by Nick Bromberg -- Tuesday October 12, 2010

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No Bull: This is How You Make a NASCAR Conspiracy

Nick Bromberg · Tuesday October 12, 2010


Man, can you believe NASCAR? Those Ford engines were cranking out some serious horsepower at Kansas and it sure looked like they could be a threat to Jimmie Johnson, so NASCAR had to fiddle with Greg Biffle’s, Carl Edwards’ and Matt Kenseth’s just to make sure the No. 48 was safe. NASCAR also knew that Kyle Busch was still in the hunt, too, so they had to screw with his engine as well before his brash style they can’t stand would be right in front of the cameras each week sitting in the #1 spot. Don’t worry, they’re going to do something to Denny Hamlin next; they just want to wait awhile and let him feel that he’s still in it. They want him to hurt more when they mess with him… it’s one of the “unannounced” punishments along with Hamlin’s fine for talking smack on NASCAR on Twitter.

NASCAR timed the demise of Greg Biffle’s engine down to the second, all part of the great plan to manipulate every moment of every race so that fans can call them out on it at every turn.

What’s that? You don’t believe what I just wrote? Why not? Come on, you have a conspiracy theory about NASCAR you believe, don’t you? Doesn’t everyone? Get out some paper and a pen and take some notes. This method is how starting one of those conspiracies is done.

Consider Clint Bowyer your conspiracy theory advocate. We all need a driver that we can believe in… one of us, if you will. He is now the latest anointed leader, calling out that mystery debris caution near the end of Sunday’s race.

That debris that caused the “mystery caution” — Bowyer’s words, not mine — was there the whole time on the final run according to the driver himself. Since NASCAR was sick of Richard Childress Racing’s cheating and Bowyer’s press conference at Dover, they wanted to make him work for the win. Bowyer ended up losing, so once again, NASCAR wins.

But don’t stop there. Remember Bowyer’s performances at Dover and Kansas? They were pretty pitiful. You know why they were pitiful? He was driving a legal car those two races. He was the “random” car after those races and the car passed inspection. Coincidence? I think not. Plus, Bowyer’s car got off scot free this week because Paul Menard was the “random.”

It’s obvious that Menard has been driving an illegal car lately. Look at his performances! You can expect the penalties for Menard and Richard Petty Motorsports later this week. (Bowyer’s engine was taken back to R&D after the race, but they haven’t been cheating on the engines, so it’s a moot point)

The guy that benefited from that mystery caution? Don’t make much of his chances. Sure, the script may call for Tony Stewart to make a run and keep a fairly large segment of the fan base interested in the Chase for a few more weeks, but remember, he gets his equipment from Hendrick Motorsports. Now that Stewart is a threat, you can guarantee that he’s going to be getting Dale Earnhardt, Jr.‘s hand-me-downs from here on out. If NASCAR found out that Hendrick was giving someone else other than Jimmie Johnson the best equipment, Mr. Hendrick would be banned for life for actions detrimental to the sport.

Oh, yeah, let’s talk about Junior. You know why he gets the Lucky Dale, err, Dog, so often, right? It’s NASCAR’s grand plan to keep Junior fans interested this season. No one loves a comeback story more than sports fans, and nothing will get NASCAR on the map more than Junior’s comeback in 2011. Forget the news about ratings and attendance at the present moment. When Junior wins half of the races next year, NASCAR ratings during the Chase will be higher than NFL games. Sales will be at an all-time high. Auto Club Speedway will sell out for their 2012 race in 2011.

But back to Jimmie. NASCAR loves having a guy who’s clean cut and as far removed from the moonshining history of the sport as its champion. Plus, Jimmie grew up in a trailer park, and that resonates with a good portion of the NASCAR fan base. But we all know that Jimmie winning four in a row at ACS would be too transparent for even the poorest and stupidest NASCAR fans, so they had to make sure that he finished third there.

Why third? Well, that meant that he still got ample media exposure because the top three finishers go to the media center. Plus, the two guys that finished ahead of Johnson were 10th and 12th in the standings, respectively, going into the race. Jimmie looked dethroned, but he actually extended his points lead. That’s good planning.

So, all you Theorists rejoice! NASCAR is making sure you stay busy this 2010 season.

Contact Nick Bromberg

Tuesday on the Frontstretch:
Five Points to Ponder: Fontana Surprises, Hamlin Holds Serve, And A Missed Opportunity
Who’s Hot / Who’s Not In NASCAR: Fontana-Charlotte Edition
Despite Sponsorship Uncertainties, Kevin Conway Ready to Talk RGM, 2011
Talking NASCAR TV: ESPN Successful With New NASCAR Producer, Leadership

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Today on the Frontstretch:
Racing to the Point: NASCAR Has Its Own Heartbreak Kid
Beyond the Cockpit: Brittany Force, the Fastest Force
Voices from the Cheap Seats: Advertising for Dummies
Who’s Hot / Who’s Not in Sprint Cup: Off Week-Richmond Edition
Couch Potato Tuesday: Picking The Best IndyCar On-Air Personalities


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Sam Ollesh
10/12/2010 05:47 AM

What’s the NASCAR equivelant to the tin-foil hat? I have sooooo bought into this! :-D

Bill B
10/12/2010 07:57 AM

If there was a conspiracy with that last caution it wasn’t to keep Bowyer from winning, it was to script an exciting finish. That’s the conspiracy.

10/12/2010 08:44 AM

If you want a conspiracy, shouldn’t you wonder why the 48 is never the “random”?
Otherwise, satirical, ironic, and probably more true than any press release na$car has handed down in the past 5 years.

10/12/2010 09:41 AM

Here is the problem I have with the Boyer incident.

In our American beliefs of fairness and justice the #1 factor is INTENT.

Intent to commit a crime drives everything. NA$CAR says that the 33 team willing violated the rules in raising their car sixty thousandths of an inch.

To what end? A modification that, if in fact was deliberate, would give no advantage on a track that is NHIS.

Follow the money on this. NA$CAR has a serious issue with protecting their bottom line. Cash is King.

The #12 driver in points suddenly rockets to #2 in points after one win. Highlighting a serious flaw in the whole Chase format.

So after a day of silence NA$CAR floats a story that the 33 had been “warned” the race prior for a legal yet “close” vehicle.

Then NA$CAR announces that after a complete inspection the 33 this time it is “illegal”.

They fine the 33 team so as to cripple their chances. The 33 appeals, to a judge and jury that is none other than NA$CAR itself. The same ones that found them guilty in the first place.

NA$CAR says it wants to appeal to more people. To be up there with the stick and ball sports.

But that would entail something that NA$CAR would never allow. Autonomy.

The “Officials” that regulate the sport are part and parcel of NA$CAR.

They control the lions share of the tracks. A vast monopoly that controls every aspect of this “sport” in every way that would make former Anti-trust monsters like Standard Oil green with envy.

The Frances need to either own NA$CAR or ISC but not both.

Rules and officiating needs to be completely separated from the governing body.

NA$CAR needs an enema.

10/12/2010 09:43 AM

Many a truth was said in jest!

10/12/2010 11:11 AM

Just wondering?? Am I the only one that saw Tony throw something out the window of the 14 car on his cool down lap? If you taped the race, go back and play his lap after the checker and you can very plainly see him toss something out the window. Just makes me wonder why any driver would need to toss something out before going to victory lane? Your thoughts?

Bill B
10/12/2010 12:25 PM

“In our American beliefs of fairness and justice the #1 factor is INTENT.”

Is it really? I’d bet 100% of people that get behind the wheel after drinking had no intent to kill anyone. So, if that wasn’t their intent then they should get off?

10/12/2010 01:09 PM

Did you ever run out of kleenex, paper towel and toilet paper at the same time … it’s a conspiracy I tell you

Carl D.
10/12/2010 01:26 PM

I checked with the White House and apparently Brian France is secretly working with Karl Rove to funnel money from Nascar to the Republican party in order to get Dale Earnhardt Junior elected president.

10/12/2010 01:52 PM

Poll Answer #4 –
A debris caution would have been thrown if any other of the 42 drivers but Johnson had been leading the race..haha

Realistically though, Nascar would have thrown the debris caution no matter who was leading…Still doesn’t mean it’s right. Nascar is a fraud.

10/12/2010 05:58 PM

I didn’t watch the race but did see some clips and the one that got my attention was a restart with the #88 on the outside which in the clip was described as the leader, and #48 on the inside, in second. Unless my eyes are failing me, I saw the #48 cross the line ahead of the #88, and I watched it a few times. I haven’t seen anyone writing anything about it but I think that should have been at least a drive through penalty. Am I missing something?

10/12/2010 07:17 PM


The rule in question states that the car in second place must not cross the start line in front of the leader…unless it is a Hendrick car.

10/12/2010 11:06 PM

Conspiracy Theories wouldn’t hold any water if NASCAR hadn’t brought upon itself the mistrust of its dwindling through their many, many, many shady calls, phantom debris cautions over the years, and bumping the manufactured chase up to 12 drivers when a couple big stars couldn’t make it into the top 10.

NASCAR bred it’s own tin foil hat brigade.

10/13/2010 08:56 AM

If you think fans are leaving in droves now, wait to see what happens if JJ wins another championship. This has turned into the Hendricks Racing league. As a long time fan it’s sad to admit I’ve pretty much lost interest. Conspiracy? No, it’s the sad truth.