The Frontstretch: Wondering...Wandering : Part I by Tommy Thompson -- Tuesday November 14, 2006

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Wondering...Wandering : Part I

Tommy Thompson · Tuesday November 14, 2006

 

Editor’s Note : What follows is Frontstretch’s newest weekly column, appearing at first as a three part series and written by none other than Thompson in Turn 5’s Tommy Thompson. Please comment below and let us know what you think…expect this to become a regular staple at FS on Fridays next year!

It’s been said that “the mind is a beautiful thing.“Whoever coined that phrase never took a stroll through my mind when it starts wandering, though. Beautiful would hardly describe the thoughts that muddle my, for the most part, lucid thought process.

I am constantly purging my brain of this ridiculous (or is it?) NASCAR refuse, and I am more than willing to share it with you, the reader.

As the season comes to a close…I’m just wondering…

1. Has Ryan Newman ever volunteered to wrestle a circus bear?

2. Did Kurt Bush having his ears “pinned back” to decrease his downforce, possibly explaining him not making the Chase this year?

3. If Kasey Kahne privately wishes they would have gotten “hotter” looking chicks for his Allstate commercials?

4. Will Toyota saturate Japanese television with Michael Waltrip commercials?

5. If a local racetrack doesn’t sell funnel cakes, is it really a racetrack?

6. Has Scott Wimmer ever been interviewed on television?

7. Since Morgan Shepherd races with Jesus, does he take 10% of his 43rd place prize money?

8. Since when did Jimmy Spencer become the resident expert on proper racing etiquette?

9. Did the “King,” Richard Petty, use hypnotism or mind-altering drugs to convince Bobby Labonte that he would be better off at Petty Enterprises?

10. Will Juan Pablo Montoya talk in a fake southern accent during interviews next year?

11. Why did Rusty Wallace built a “state of the art” racetrack in Newton, Iowa and then only put 30,000 seats in it?

12. Where in the hell is Newton, Iowa, anyways?

13. Am I just old, or do other guys think Carl Edwards’ Mom is a “babe?”

14. If it isn’t just a matter of time before NASCAR hires Snoop Dogg to rap the National Anthem before the start of the 2007 Daytona 500?

15. Why writers that don’t like the NASCAR points system, the Chase to the Nextel Cup Championship, the schedule, the Car of Tomorrow, the Frances, and just about everything else about NASCAR don’t just start covering the NFL?

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Swan Racing Announces Restructuring, No. 26 & No. 30 ‘Sold’ Off
Tech Talk with Tony Gibson: Taking Stock Of Danica Patrick In Year Two
Vexing Vito: Three Drivers In Need of a Role Reversal
Going By the Numbers: Top-10 NASCAR Variety Hard To Come By In…
Truckin’ Thursdays: Lessons Learned Just Two Races In
Fantasy Insider: Team Revelations For NASCAR’s Short Tracks

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Kevin
11/15/2006 12:04 PM
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Tommy, I loved the closing line – a little good natured suggestion for improvement is fine, but the incessent whining from most of the writers covering NASCAR today is ridiculous.

Maybe it’s time to ask THEM a question — Would you like some cheese with that whine?

Great idea for a column – work on the presentation on the page to make it easier to read, but look forward to seeing it in 2007!

Editor
11/15/2006 01:04 PM
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Kevin, Thank you for you comments! In regards to your last one, apparently there was a glitch in the system which has been fixed. Hopefully the formatting is easier to read now. Thank you for bringing it to our intention!

Mark
11/15/2006 06:45 PM
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Your comment about Morgan Shepherd and his tithe is way out of line. It is a fine thing that Shepherd knows his savior, and 10%, 20% or absolutely nothing is absolutely none of your business. I think an apology to Mr. Shepherd and to God is in order.

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