The Frontstretch: Wondering ... Wandering : Part II by Tommy Thompson -- Thursday November 16, 2006

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Wondering ... Wandering : Part II

Tommy Thompson · Thursday November 16, 2006


Editor’s Note : What follows is Frontstretch’s newest weekly column, appearing at first as a three part series and written by none other than Thompson in Turn 5’s Tommy Thompson. Please comment below and let us know what you think…expect this to become a regular staple at FS on Fridays next year!

It’s been said that “the mind is a beautiful thing.“Whoever coined that phrase never took a stroll through my mind when it starts wandering, though. Beautiful would hardly describe the thoughts that muddle my, for the most part, lucid thought process.

I am constantly purging my brain of this ridiculous (or is it?) NASCAR refuse, and I am more than willing to share it with you, the reader.

1. Was it SPEED TV’s Bob Dillner that tipped off the Bush administration that Saddam had a stockpile of WMD’s?

2. Which one does Mom like best : Kurt or Kyle?

3. Wasn’t Greg Biffle supposed to win the championship this year?

4. Just how much thought does Darrell Waltrip put in before he yells out, “Boogity! Boogity! Boogity! Let’s go racing, boys!”

5. Will Jeff Gordon be burned in effigy somewhere in the Carolinas when he surpasses Dale Earnhardt, Sr. on the all-time win list?

6. If Matt Kenseth were to dump his wife, marry a transvestite, and start wrestling midgets in the offseason…would the media notice?

7. Could Carl Edwards, just one time, land on his butt after a backflip?

8. Wouldn’t it be cool if a driver, after winning a race, climbed out of his car and said, “I’ll have to take full credit for this win, my car was crap all day, the pit stops were horrible, and the only reason I’m in Victory Lane is I’m by far the best driver on track?

9. Has the now-married Jeff Gordon ever been seen with an ugly woman in his lifetime?

10. Why doesn’t NASCAR just save time and fuel by letting the Top 35 cars draw straws for starting positions every week. Maybe the remaining 7 positions could be decided by having a spelling bee or something.

11. Does NASCAR know that they could get in big trouble for serving Denny Hamlin Champagne at this year’s Awards banquet?

12. Does “Fatback” McSwain ever wish people would call him “Pork Chop?”

13. Is it OK for a man to refer to Kasey Kahne as, “That cute little driver?”

14. Did Mark Martin graduate as the salutatorian of his high school class?

15. Wouldn’t it be a hoot if Matt Martin opted for a job in the fast food industry…instead of on the race track?

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Today on the Frontstretch:
Championship Caliber? What Does That Even Mean?
Mirror Driving: Winning Vs. Points, Needing a Boost, and The Lady’s Last Dance?
Nuts for Nationwide: The Curious Case of Elliott Sadler
Happiness Is…Arrogance, Less, Next, and the Outdoors
Frontstretch Foto Funnies: It’s Not Gonna Fit…


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11/17/2006 10:32 AM

Pretty funny Tom, but the truth is some of these are real good questions, (i.e. #6,#10).
Great job keep it coming.
I also see no commemts on this, I wonder if NASCAR fans have any sense of humor?
I guess not!

11/18/2006 05:25 PM

If Gordon doesn’t start running races a little better, he’ll never catch Earnhardts record!! One away, I think. But he can’t worry about that now. He is out of breath from his honeymoon

11/20/2006 09:35 AM

laughed my butt off. WHat I wonder is what Mom says every time Kurt or Kyle wreck someone. “My boy didn’t do it! They should have got out of his way…”

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