Check in with Matt and Jay on their site at CareyandCoffey.com.
|Subscribe to The Frontstretch Newsletter|
With the CoT wing now a thing of the past effective this weekend at Martinsville, what will NASCAR do with all of this extra equipment left over?
10. All wings to be promptly shipped down to Guantanamo Bay to be used for waterboar…err…uhh…surfing. Yeah…that’s it…surfing…
9. End plates can be used as earmuffs for President Obama, blocking out deafening boos from protesters as he goes on the road touting merits of the new Health Care bill.
8. One wing will remain in the field, affixed to the No. 48 car, in a vain attempt to give somebody else a shot to win the rest of the year.
7. Ryan Newman to build entry for Red Bull Flugtag competition using pair of CoT wings, unicycle, and one of Mike Helton’s old sport coats.
6. Will be handed out as pre-race souvenirs to fans prior to Aaron’s 499 at Talladega next month, anticipating Dale Earnhardt, Jr.‘s breakthrough win. What could possibly go wrong?
5. Denny Hamlin to build A-Team-esque barricade around right side of his car with old wings, allowing him to blow tires and bounce off walls with impunity.
4. Kenny Wallace to fashion hat out of CoT wing, wear it at public events, point at it, and laugh manically. You think I’m joking … just watch.
3. Carl Edwards and Brad Keselowski to settle differences in steel cage match, armed only with obsolete NASCAR devices. Edwards will have CoT wing wearing cool suit, while Keselowski wields the Humpy Bumper, clad in Hutchens straps…
2. Greg Biffle to replace rear-view mirror in 3M Ford with CoT wing. Since his helmet radio seems to not work when being passed for position, he need not bother with those pesky mirrors, either…
1. Wings melted down into molten metal slurry, used to patch holes that develop in superspeedways during major events – you know, like the Daytona 500 or something.
©2000 - 2008 Vito Pugliese and Frontstetch.com. Thanks for visiting the Frontstretch!
11. Dress them up as NASCAR fans, and stick them in the stands to make it look like they’re more full.
Now Kevin has the right idea!!
Hang one on the office walls of Mike Helton and Robin Pemberton to constantly remind them that when everyone tells you an idea sucks , you should listen .
Donate them to the production crew of the next episode of the Fasterer and Furiouser movies.
Make sure one of them goes into the NASCAR Hall of Fame as a “tribute” to Brain Farce’s “infinite wisdom” and “knowing what’s best for the sport”.
Send them to Paul McCartney, who can use the scraps to make a new leg for his ex-wife, Heather Mills.
Or, say they are all wings from the #88, grossly overprice them, and watch them go like hotcakes to Junior fans.