Editor’s Note: What follows is Frontstretch‘s newest weekly column, appearing at first as a three-part series and written by none other than Thompson in Turn 5‘s Tommy Thompson. Please comment below and let us know what you think… expect this to become a regular staple at Frontstretch on Fridays next year!
It’s been said that “the mind is a beautiful thing.” Whoever coined that phrase never took a stroll through my mind when it starts wandering, though. Beautiful would hardly describe the thoughts that muddle my, for the most part, lucid thought process.
I am constantly purging my brain of this ridiculous (or is it?) NASCAR refuse, and I am more than willing to share it with you, the reader.
As the season comes to a close… I’m just wondering…
1. Has Ryan Newman ever volunteered to wrestle a circus bear?
2. Did Kurt Busch having his ears “pinned back” to decrease his downforce, possibly explaining him not making the Chase this year?
3. If Kasey Kahne privately wishes they would have gotten “hotter” looking chicks for his Allstate commercials?
4. Will Toyota saturate Japanese television with Michael Waltrip commercials?
5. If a local racetrack doesn’t sell funnel cakes, is it really a racetrack?
6. Has Scott Wimmer ever been interviewed on television?
7. Since Morgan Shepherd races with Jesus, does he take 10% of his 43rd-place prize money?
8. Since when did Jimmy Spencer become the resident expert on proper racing etiquette?
10. Will Juan Pablo Montoya talk in a fake Southern accent during interviews next year?
11. Why did Rusty Wallace built a “state of the art” racetrack in Newton, Iowa and then only put 30,000 seats in it?
12. Where in the hell is Newton, Iowa, anyways?
13. Am I just old, or do other guys think Carl Edwards‘s Mom is a “babe?”
14. If it isn’t just a matter of time before NASCAR hires Snoop Dogg to rap the National Anthem before the start of the 2007 Daytona 500?
15. Why writers that don’t like the NASCAR points system, the Chase to the Nextel Cup Championship, the schedule, the Car of Tomorrow, the Frances, and just about everything else about NASCAR don’t just start covering the NFL?