Editor’s Note: What follows is Frontstretch‘s newest weekly column, appearing at first as a three-part series and written by none other than Thompson in Turn 5‘s Tommy Thompson. Please comment below and let us know what you think… expect this to become a regular staple at Frontstretch on Fridays next year!
It’s been said that “the mind is a beautiful thing.”Whoever coined that phrase never took a stroll through my mind when it starts wandering, though. Beautiful would hardly describe the thoughts that muddle my, for the most part, lucid thought process.
I am constantly purging my brain of this ridiculous (or is it?) NASCAR refuse, and I am more than willing to share it with you, the reader.
1. Was it SPEED TV’s Bob Dillner that tipped off the Bush administration that Saddam had a stockpile of WMDs?
2. Which one does Mom like best: Kurt or Kyle?
3. Wasn’t Greg Biffle supposed to win the championship this year?
4. Just how much thought does Darrell Waltrip put in before he yells out, “Boogity! Boogity! Boogity! Let’s go racing, boys!”
5. Will Jeff Gordon be burned in effigy somewhere in the Carolinas when he surpasses Dale Earnhardt Sr. on the all-time wins list?
6. If Matt Kenseth were to dump his wife, marry a transvestite and start wrestling midgets in the offseason… would the media notice?
7. Could Carl Edwards, just one time, land on his butt after a backflip?
8. Wouldn’t it be cool if a driver, after winning a race, climbed out of his car and said, “I’ll have to take full credit for this win, my car was crap all day, the pit stops were horrible, and the only reason I’m in victory lane is I’m by far the best driver on track?
9. Has the now-married Gordon ever been seen with an ugly woman in his lifetime?
10. Why doesn’t NASCAR just save time and fuel by letting the Top-35 cars draw straws for starting positions every week. Maybe the remaining seven positions could be decided by having a spelling bee or something.
11. Does NASCAR know that they could get in big trouble for serving Denny Hamlin champagne at this year’s Awards banquet?
12. Does “Fatback” McSwain ever wish people would call him “Pork Chop?”
13. Is it OK for a man to refer to Kasey Kahne as, “That cute little driver?”
14. Did Mark Martin graduate as the salutatorian of his high school class?
15. Wouldn’t it be a hoot if Matt Martin opted for a job in the fast-food industry… instead of on the racetrack?
About the author
The Frontstretch Staff is made up of a group of talented men and women spread out all over the United States and Canada. Residing in 15 states throughout the country, plus Ontario, and widely ranging in age, the staff showcases a wide variety of diverse opinions that will keep you coming back for more week in and week out.
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