NASCAR Race Weekend Central

Top 10 Speeches You Won’t Hear at the Nextel Cup Awards Banquet

10. Kevin Harvick
“Finally, I’ve decided to join the Ricky Rudd Fan Club. I’ll miss you, Ricky!”

9. Carl Edwards
“OK, I’m so sick of this Opie BS I could scream. I hate you all. Especially you, Matt.”

8. Jeff Burton
“To my wife, Kim; honey, could you please stop crying? I mean, just look at the problem all those tears caused at Atlanta! I think that’s what got in the gas tank, sweetheart.”

7. Kurt Busch
“And I’d like to thank my plastic surgeon. These ears are SO much more aerodynamic!”

6. Tony Stewart
“To Mike Arning, my PR guy; thanks for nothing! The other drivers are way bigger a**holes, but they come out smelling like roses.”

5. Kyle Busch
“Frosted Flakes? Theey’rree TERRIBLE! Like cardboard and powdered sugar. And you don’t even want to know what they do to your digestive tract.”

4. Matt Kenseth
“Next year, I’ll be up in the booth for ESPN, giving hilarious color commentary!”

3. Clint Bowyer
“So, I lost the Cup. My girlfriend is still hotter than your wife.”

2. Jeff Gordon
“Congratulations to Jimmie Johnson. You’re fired!”

1. Jimmie Johnson
“I want to thank Gordon for believing in me and giving me a chance. Nanee nanee boo boo!”

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