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Top 10 Nice Things Tony Stewart Could Have Said About Goodyear, Re dux?

Author’s note: Ladies and Gentlemen, as you read today’s Top 10, dated March 12th, 2008, you may feel a slight sensation of deja vu. Do not be alarmed! You are not stuck in some twisted NASCAR version of the movie Groundhog Day. But then again, maybe we are! It is very hard to tell with such things. Believe it or not, what you are about to read was originally published March 13th, 2007! Why, you may ask, are we bringing it up again? Well, it seems Tony Stewart went on the same tire tirade last year at this very time! Perhaps it is time for Tony to get a new publicist; or maybe, this is a sign that “the more things change, the more they remain the same,” especially in NASCAR.

10. “They sure are round! These are some of the roundest tires I’ve ever raced on.”

9. “As the ‘exclusive tire supplier of NASCAR’ through 2012, at least the ‘company’ is viable.”

8. “I thought they quit making bias ply tires years ago!”

7. “At least NASCAR won’t have to worry about teams soaking a ‘foreign substance’ into these babies!”

6. “Goodyear should contract with De Beers. They could shape their diamonds with these things.”

5. “Uhhhh, let’s see. Did I mention how round they are?”

4. “Ya know that big tire that flattens Kasey Kahne‘s car in the commercial? Yep! That’s a Goodyear!”

3. “Goodyear Product Development sure hit the nail on the head when they named these ‘racing slicks!'”

2. “I just heard that Goodyear won the contract to be ‘The exclusive tire supplier of Union Pacific.'”

1. “THEY SUCK!!!”

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