NASCAR Race Weekend Central

Top 10 Things Overheard During the Waxing of Tony Stewart’s Back

10. (Upon the removal of Tony’s shirt): “Gasp! Oh my gawd! We’re definitely gonna need more wax!” – All in attendance

9. “More wax? Hell, we’re gonna need more wax and TWO shows to do all that!” – Producer of Tony’s radio show

8. ” ! ! ! , .” – Darrell Waltrip, suffering from laryngitis, frantically gesturing that it was his turn to “rip off some hair.”

7. “Good news, Tony! I talked with the pool guy at the camp and he said that once this is done, you won’t have to pay us for extra filters next time you come up and go swimming!” – Kyle Petty

6. “Ewwwwww! You’re lucky your back don’t look like that, or you’d be one lonely racecar driver!” – DeLana Harvick, whispering in Kevin’s ear

5. “Hey, I got an idea! Let’s just wax a big number 20 on his back!” – Advertising executive from Home Depot

4. (After one particularly successful RRRIIIIPPPPP! And a muffled scream): “Wow, Tony! Ya know, if our Goodyears were as sticky as this wax, I might not have slid up into you last Sunday!” – Kevin Harvick

3. “Looks like we’re getting low on wax. I’ll run down to the pit box and get some of our ‘200-mph tape’ that we use on the racecar.” – Greg Zipadelli

2. “Hey, you guys! Is it normal for someone to be bleeding like that?” – Concerned studio guy from the sound booth

1. “Awwwwwwwwww! Oh gawd! Please stop! Owwwwwwwch! Oh please, oh please! AAAuuuugggghhhhhh! Momma, momma! AAAAIIIIIEEEEE! Son of a , , did that leave a mark? Holy S, , !” – Tony Stewart

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