And remember your momma’s advice; if you can’t say something nice…
10. Kurt Busch: Since his little brother came along, Kurt is a really nice and likable fellow.
9. Brad Daugherty: He looks remarkably like Barack Obama… or is it the other way around?
8. Nextel Sprint: With their customer base now so small, their Customer Service reps have more time to piss you off with a more personal touch.
7. Juan Pablo Montoya: Best thing to happen to NASCAR’s Diversity Program since – well, since NASCAR’s Diversity Program — and all by accident, too! (That was started how many years ago now?)
6. Kasey Kahne: Even when he gets older, he shouldn’t have to worry about a date… as he’s the dream of MILFs everywhere. (Wake up, Editors!)
5. Dale Jarrett: He sure ain’t no Rusty Wallace – Thank God!
4. Goodyear: …ummm… they make really good… no, wait a minute… uh… Oh! Their blimp is kind of cool! (Of course, it only uses its tires to sit on)
3. Gene Haas: Since the charges against him related to his racing team were dropped in a plea agreement, he is still “in good standing” with NASCAR – and if you need him, we know exactly where he is for the next year and a half. He should be easy to get a hold of…
2. Teresa Earnhardt: Yeah, right! You seriously thought I was gonna try and tackle this one!? Nope, I’m going to make my momma proud!
1. Brian France: After listening to him speak for an hour or so, politicians will make infinitely more sense to you — a handy thing during an election year.
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