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Top 10 Foreseeable Problems with NASCAR in China

Editor’s Note: In honor of the Olympics, we wanted to bring back this popular Top 10 from last year, with a few tweaks — hope you enjoy it!

10. StarvingPeasant.com not allowed to sponsor a car.

9. Colossal statues and portraits of “Chairman Brian” begin popping up everywhere at all ISC tracks.

8. NASCAR rulebook increases from 100 pages to 1,000 when translated into Chinese. (Don’t worry, it still doesn’t make any sense!)

7. Brian France mandates that all rules will be enforced with traditional Chinese Government fervor and zeal.

6. Run-of-the-mill CoTs are mass produced in China and imported here with an ultimate plan to “save the teams money.”

5. Any Chinese venue not selling out at least 500,000 tickets per race will be dropped from the schedule.

4. Greg Biffle‘s dogs mysteriously disappear during a race in Beijing, never to be seen again.

3. Cars are “weewee woose in conners.”

2. ISC creates an “international incident” when it attempts to buy Tiananmen Square because it is “the perfect location” for a track.

1. No. 24 fans get all bent out of shape after locally hired spotter repeatedly says, “you queer gore don, you queer” each time Jeff Gordon passes a car.

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