Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson recently failed miserably in an attempt to get into Kyle Busch’s head before Watkins Glen, suggesting that Busch was in a slump. Busch responded to that by dominating that race for his eighth win of the season, then finished runner-up to Carl Edwards at Michigan the following week. So, with the Chase on the horizon, The Official Columnist of NASCAR offers Edwards – Busch’s biggest challenger – some advice on how to really get into his brain:
10. Challenge him to a “Best Pecs” contest on ESPN.
9. Teach Kyle how to do a backflip – but leave out the detail that enables him to land on his feet.
8. When about to be passed by Kyle, have Bob Osborne find Kyle’s radio frequency and shout, “Look! Elvis!”
7. When Kyle is giving an interview, stand next to him and mimic every word he says.
6. Sneak up behind Kyle and give him a “flat” while he’s walking to his car.
5. The old classic: itching powder in the firesuit.
4. When the two drivers are side by side, lean out the window and make a “ssssssssss” sound, to make Kyle think he has a tire going down.
3. Have big and furry Office Depot mascot in grandstands placing “hex” on No. 18 car every time it goes by.
2. Leave crushed M&M’s and destroyed Interstate Batteries everywhere to create that “bad vibe.”
1. Try to complain about Toyota’s horsepower advantage at key moment during the Chase.