NASCAR Race Weekend Central

BSNews! Roid ‘Rage In NASCAR? And Bobby Hamilton Jr. Eyes Short Stint in Cup

BSNews – Bobby Hamilton Jr.

Team Rensi Motorsports is facing a December shutdown if new sponsorship cannot be found, but Nationwide Series driver Hamilton Jr. says he is not ready to quit driving just yet.

“I’d like to run full-time, but if you can’t, you’ve got to take what you can take. The Nationwide cars, there’s just none out there. I’m about 40% talking to a Cup deal,” Hamilton Jr. said of his 2009 racing prospects.

NASCAR experts, though, say Hamilton Jr. may be hoping for something just beyond his reach.

“If Hamilton were 60% taller, he might have a 100% chance of anyone taking him seriously,” said one anonymous insider. “The main obstacle he faces is that, in the Cup Series, most owners have – just as do most theme parks – minimum ride height requirements.”

BSNews – Triple duty for Johnny Sauter

This weekend at Dover Downs, Sauter will be busy with what is known in racing-speak as “triple duty.”

Sauter is set to pilot a No. 12 Dodge in the Camping World East Series Friday, the No. 78 Chevy for Derrike Cope in the Nationwide Series Saturday and the No. 08 FUBAR All Natural Dodge in the Sprint Cup Series Sunday.

If Sauter is successful in pulling this off, it will be the first time a driver will have destroyed a racecar in three different series in one weekend.

Oddsmakers in Las Vegas refused to open a line on the action, however, saying that it was the closest to a sure thing they have seen in years.

“FUBAR sure picked the right driver for them,” said one Las Vegas bookie. “That’s usually what his car is when he’s done with it!”

BSNews – ‘Roid Rage in NASCAR?

After Ron Hornaday’s recent admission to using a steroid cream to treat a mysterious ailment – later diagnosed as a hyperactive thyroid – BSNews rookie reporter Ima Bittzlow has learned that numerous NASCAR drivers have come forward with similar claims.

When asked about the situation, NASCAR CEO Brian France was surprisingly forthcoming with the information as he understood it.

“Yes. Heard reports about that,” said France in his typical fragmented sentence style. “It has all been a misunderstanding. Team hauler drivers. They were the ones who approached us. Apparently using the cream for years. The substance they used was a hemorrhoid cream. We are still looking into it, but would like to put this whole painful ‘flare up’ behind us.”

BSNews – Waltrip/Ganassi merger leads to certain death?

NASCAR analysts speculate that if rumors are true and there is to be a Michael Waltrip Racing/Chip Ganassi Racing with Felix Sabates merger, it could actually be dangerous to the very existence of all involved.

Not only would the name be archaically long, but the egos of all involved may in fact cancel each other out – causing all of them to spontaneously combust. Throw Juan Pablo Montoya into the mix, and that just may be the catalyst to set it all in motion. All do agree, however, that it would be the best and biggest worst team in the series to date.

BSNews: Your first thought is our first name!

Stay off the wall (and off the cream),

Jeff Meyer

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