NASCAR Race Weekend Central

Top 10 Reasons Jimmie Johnson Might Not Win The Chase

Author’s note: This list is a revision of one I wrote about one year ago! It’s sad how apropo it is today as when I wrote it last year – ‘cept for the Jeff Gordon part!

10. Other drivers hire Tonya Harding to give Jimmie a good “knee whacking.”

9. Chad Knaus decides he is tired of babysitting Jimmie, and lets him “keep on welding.”

8. Two words: Goodyear tires.

7. While it sounded like a good idea at the time, Hendrick Motorsports finds out the hard way why Kobalt Tools are not the Official Tools of NASCAR.

6. Oh yeah, Kyle Busch… yeah right! Like THAT was ever gonna happen! (Thank God!)

5. NASCAR implements new, stricter drug testing policy… and all Hendrick cars are found to be on steroids bought from Carl Edwards.

4. Jimmie accepts the use of Michael Waltrip‘s private jet and finds himself at the wrong track.

3. Hendrick Motorsports abruptly merges with Ganassi. (’nuff said!)

2. Jimmie is suspended for the remainder of the season after excessive amounts of vanilla are found in his system.

1. In a sudden reversal of fortune, due in part to an accountant forgetting to carry one, Dodge actually takes over GM and Jimmie must use a Dodge engine for the remaining races.

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