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Top 10 Reasons Jeff Gordon Finally Won at Texas

10. His new wife had begun to question him: “I thought you said you were good at this racing stuff?”

9. He and Jeff Hammond had plans for later in the evening, and Gordon needed something to wear that would match.

8. Wanted some new handguns and didn’t want to mess with the “required waiting period.”

7. He heard that owner Rick Hendrick had begun to inquire of his lawyers as to the exact definition of a “lifetime contract.”

6. He wasn’t distracted by having a supermodel nagging him at the track this weekend.

5. His quarterly alimony payment was due.

4. Carl Edwards‘s pit crew.

3. Apparently his “pole” was longer than Junior’s and, therefore, he was able to find his pit stall.

2. Chad and Jimmie Johnson mistakenly thought the race was 503 miles.

1. Wanted to show the Busch brothers and the fans how real racers celebrate a victory on “Burnout Alley!”

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