*10.* A new, and this time housebroken, monkey. *9.* FINALLY pay off _in full_ the group of psychologists for his anger management sessions -- including the medical bills for the black eye given to one of them. *8.* Hire a goon to beat up people who still call him “Anthony.”

Top Ten Ways Tony Stewart Will Spend His Million

10. A new, and this time housebroken, monkey.

9. FINALLY pay off in full the group of psychologists for his anger management sessions — including the medical bills for the black eye given to one of them.

8. Hire a goon to beat up people who still call him “Anthony.”

7. Saving $25,000 for his next win, because just saying “bulls***” in Victory Lane just felt so good.

6. A much better A.J. Foyt mask for Halloween.

5. Provide more bailout assistance for GM to help celebrate his return.

4. New and larger shower facilities at Eldora Speedway, eliminating social discomfort of sweaty drivers and crew having to share following the Prelude race.

3. Establish a “Future Pardon Fund” for his business partners, just in case a Clinton someday gets elected again.

2. Buy out Frontstretch so he can fire me for this list.

1. That Russian Babe in the Old Spice commercial!

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About Frontstretch Staff

Frontstretch Staff
The Frontstretch Staff is made up of a group of talented men and women spread out all over the United States and Canada. Residing in 15 states throughout the country, plus Ontario, and widely ranging in age, the staff showcases a wide variety of diverse opinions that will keep you coming back for more week in and week out.

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