10. Give Dale Earnhardt Jr. more responsibility, like washing his own firesuit post-race.
9. Boost morale with AMP-drinking contests, as team members match their caffeine limits in traditional party games.
8. Remind Junior that should he return to victory lane, he’ll need to watch his mouth.
7. Obviously, in the spirit of true commitment to change, lose the “but that’s the way Tony always did it” philosophy.
6. Request that Rick Hendrick fine and suspend anyone who puts Metamucil in Lance’s coffee on race day.
5. End the practice of hiding the pit road sign when Junior pits for gratuitous yuks.
4. Develop and practice spoken game of rock-paper-scissors with Junior to settle disputes over who will make the call on car changes during the race.
3. Throw away magic 8-ball used to answer setup questions.
2. Hypnotize Junior to help him get over that unreasonable “green car” superstition.
1. No more stepmother jokes.
A daily email update (Monday through Friday) providing racing news, commentary, features, and information from Frontstretch.com
We hate spam. Your email address will not be sold or shared with anyone else.