10. Wanted to keep Brad Keselowski in a Penske PoS for another two years.
8. He isn’t eligible to qualify for NASCAR’s pension plan yet.
7. Gets off on teasing others his age (or younger) that have retired.
6. Figures, what with the GoDaddy.com tie-in, there’s bound to be an infomercial for some fitness product in his future featuring him and Danica.
5. Doesn’t feel he’s earned respect yet as a racecar driver.
4. Never learned a “backup” trade in case this racing thing doesn’t work out.
3. Has to recoup his losses after investing heavily in Mayfield Motorsports.
2. Always wanted to rip open his shirt during a GoDaddy.com commercial (go to GoDaddy.com to see what happens next!)
1. After all those years in the Viagra car, he still gets “excited” driving in NASCAR (luckily, the races never last over four hours!).