Not everybody hordes NASCAR memorabilia. Not everybody is a NASCAR fan. I get that. I embrace it. I even go to considerable lengths to suppress the need to buy almost anything with the NASCAR logo emblazoned on it. Because, I’m beginning to suspect that my No. 1 obsession has taken over. Why?
It came to me in the middle of the night, last week. I had settled in for nice long sleep. There were dreams of snowflakes and pretty lights then BAM! I’m sitting up, screaming, holding my throbbing cheek and wondering what the heck just slugged me in the face!
I looked down and Ted Musgrave’s Family Channel No. 16 1/64 diecast in its bubble pack stared back up at me. Normally, this innocuous appearing toy resides in the frame that hangs over my pillow with about 19 other cars. The frame had given up… decided enough was enough and would somebody please do something about all this… stuff!
I sat up, pushing the Jeff Gordon fleece throw off my lap and carried the now lost car to the bookcase where I tried to place it with the rest… well, most of the rest of the collection. That’s when it really sank in.
I have too much crap!
I tried to squeeze Ted in between the Michael Waltrip No. 30 Penzoil and the Ricky Craven Kodiak No. 41. Nope. Other bubble packs farther down the shelf threatened to jump. I moved down a row. How about in front of the ESPN VHS tapes, next to the DuPont paint can? uh-uh. The Terry Labonte Road Runner said, “No room at the inn!”
I sighed. Next shelf. Well, I never did manage to get the newspapers, race programs, driver glossies and the No. 94 MacDonald’s Barbie to agree on who owned what turf. It didn’t look good for Ted. Maybe upstairs, with the Christmas ornaments?
Hoping some bookcase or countertop in the house was available, I continued my search. Well, Musgrave’s Thunderbird didn’t fit in quite right with the old modified Hot Wheels, and Kevin Harvick’s bobblehead responded negatively to more cars standing between him and Gordon.
Ah, there were the ornaments. Unfortunately, time and my acquisitive nature had filled in the gaps around Dale Earnhardt Sr., the painted rock of the No. 24 an employee made for me and the Bobby Hamilton No. 55 Martian. Back downstairs, I stopped for only a moment to consider the bookcase that houses actual NASCAR books. I still hadn’t managed to unstack and file the newest additions to that shelf. Sun porch… surely, in the sun porch I would find just a little bit of room for this car!
I gave up when my toes connected with my latest purchase. I put Ted on the piano… he’d have to mingle with the silver candlesticks for a bit. On the floor sat the latest indication that I have gone off the deep end. Just waiting for deployment, it’s a Jimmie Johnson No. 48 inflatable car with a reindeer pit crew waving a checkered flag, eight feet long and four feet high.
Ah ah! I know what you’re thinking! You just had to get the champion’s car, didn’t you? Well, no… not precisely.
What really happened was we already had the Home Depot version of the car. Smoke’s pit crew of snowmen just didn’t do it for me, even though I thought it incredibly cool that I had a NASCAR parked on my front lawn during the holidays (it lights up, too). However, when I was walking through the Lowe’s a few weeks back and saw Jimmie’s car on display, my NASCAR nut brain thought how much cooler it would be to have a race on the yard! Yeah! I digress.
Back to the problem at hand – where to put everything.
I’ve thought about it a bit over the past few days and come to a conclusion. I like all this stuff… the decks of cards, candy tins, scarves, mugs, magnets and teddy bears. Who said that the season was over and it was time to put all of this away? Like I’d be able to.
Nah, for the month of December, I’ll hang the New Hampshire Motor Speedway and Camping World flags on the porch, we’ll have Jimmie and Tony pace the field and I will dream of warm sunshine and the roar of the engines.
And if I’m a good girl, maybe Santa will bring me some new shelves for Musgrave’s car.
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