10. Four words: Rental. Car. Drag. Race.
9. Signed him up to appear on stage on SPEED’s Fast Track to Fame with Michael Waltrip.
8. Cellophane on the toilet bowl, stink bombs in his motorhome, “Kick Me” sign on his driving suit…
7. Kept his helmet on and shoved him in sissy-like Jeff Gordon fashion after the race.
6. Left a “F@#$ you very much” note on the seat of his airplane.
5. Followed him into a restaurant, sat at a different table, ordered a bunch of food and drinks, only to tell the waitress “that guy over there” said he would foot the bill.
4. Called him a “decrepit has-been that never was” on TV.
3. Twittered his cell number, John Daly-style.
2. Switched out his urine sample with Jeremy Mayfield’s in the NASCAR hauler.
1. First read a copy of Denny Hamlin’s “How to Spin Out a Guy on a Fast Straightaway and Not Almost Place Him in the Grandstands.”
Listen to Doug weekly on The Allan Vigil Ford Lincoln Mercury Speedshop racing show with host Captain Herb Emory each Saturday, from 12-1 p.m., on News/Talk 750 WSB in Atlanta and on wsbradio.com. Doug also hosts the “Chase Elliott Podcast” and the “Bill Elliott Racing Podcast” on ChaseElliott.com and BillElliott.com.
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