Race Weekend Central

Fan’s View: Going in Circles Simple NASCAR Logic

“Please add windshield washing fluid.”

My car has been telling me to do this little chore for the past five days. I haven’t followed the instructions just yet, as it seems silly to add more fluid to my sopping environment up in Massachusetts. At this rate, if enough water keeps pouring from the heavens, I will never have to add windshield washing fluid again. Nonetheless, I expect I will do as I’m told when the sun appears tomorrow. Hopefully that bright orb in the sky does as it’s told to do by the meteorologists, or so that’s what the weathermen would like us to think.

But this random topic got me to thinking… what other silly things get done simply because it is somebody else’s bright idea?

In NASCAR, there’s a multitude of items that fit into this category. Perhaps this week, with its dearth of races and overabundance of bad weather (look, I’ve had enough Nor’easters in the past month to last a lifetime!), is a good moment to kick back and enjoy some of the idiosyncrasies of our sport.

1.) Go fast, turn left

I know each and every one of you that read this column have defended your choice of stock car racing as the best sport ever at some time in your life. It’s an inevitable argument. How can going around in circles be fun? Personally, I’ve stopped trying to worm my way out of this one. It does appear that our athletes have been trained for this singlular feat. Look what a mess of things our champions make when they attempt to turn right!

This concept of chasing your tail for 500 miles was perhaps an odd one at some distant point in history, and the action is pretty predictable when you get down to it, but let’s face it, going fast and turning left is awesome. Plain and simple. I’m sorry that’s a little too difficult for some other sports fans to wrap their heads around, but we all can’t be geniuses.

2.) The car has a wing?

Uh, yeah. Well, I called them idiosyncrasies, not good ideas. And fortunately, this one is leaving the arena in just a short time. It actually made sense to my traditional NASCAR mind when the sport introduced the CoT. That wing did look like something I would see on one of my young employee’s cars. While the rest of the machine had been beaten into a mobile billboard, more than an automobile, the wing was something that could possibly slip into the “Race on Sunday, Sell on Monday” mantra of days gone by.

But yeah, when cars go airborne, and even if the number-crunchers can prove that the wing was not any more at fault than the soon-to-replace-it spoiler would be, it just doesn’t reassure any sane person that a wing on a ground-dwelling machine is a good thing.

So wave goodbye to the do-do bird, kids. And good riddance!

3.) The point of racing is NOT to hit another car…honest.

This is another one of those really hard to prove ideologies of our sport. We view a race to see who is the fastest, the bravest, the smartest, the best. Right? We do not watch to see who hits the wall, or even worse, who is willing to put somebody else into the wall. And yet, there is the fact that we do not TiVo multiple instant replays of Mark Martin politely passing Jimmie Johnson for the lead. Nor do we fill bulletin boards with comments on what a nice person Ryan Newman is. How many times do you think the Brad Keselowski/Carl Edwards wrecks have been put on endless rewind over the past two weeks?

So, yeah, let’s just face up to it—the beatin’ and bangin’ is pretty cool, too.

4.) A motor IS an engine

I’m not here to debate the correct definition of a motor. I get it! And I’m not here to piss off Newman. But, there are things we must accept as fact when choosing to talk NASCAR. If the motor broke, it is the engine that chewed itself into little pieces and suffered a catastrophic oil pan failure. As a fan who does not choose to dismantle their own car, I will leave it to the engine guys to determine which piston burned. I’m happy enough with “uh oh, looks like the motor broke.”

5.) The Flagman is the most important person at the track

If you’ve ever attended a NASCAR event at a track larger than a mile long, you’ve probably gotten out your binoculars to see something on the other end of the track. So, I ask you, if I have trouble picking out a stationary pit box when I’m sitting in a single spot, how in the world can a driver see a tiny yellow flag fluttering 30 feet above the track while he’s driving 175 mph? And yet, this most traditional and revered position is undoubtedly the most iconic for any race. Take away the green, yellow and checkered flags and we’re left with cars going round in circles for no apparent reason at all.

Oh dear, it seems we’re back where we started.

What does this all mean? I’m not sure. But the next time you see NASCAR racing listed in your cable guide, don’t try and overthink the process. Instead, follow your inner voice that’s telling you to do a very simple thing: Watch the race! And enjoy. You already know it’s a good thing.

About the author

The Frontstretch Staff is made up of a group of talented men and women spread out all over the United States and Canada. Residing in 15 states throughout the country, plus Ontario, and widely ranging in age, the staff showcases a wide variety of diverse opinions that will keep you coming back for more week in and week out.

Sign up for the Frontstretch Newsletter

A daily email update (Monday through Friday) providing racing news, commentary, features, and information from Frontstretch.com
We hate spam. Your email address will not be sold or shared with anyone else.

Share this article

Sign up for the Frontstretch Newsletter

A daily email update (Monday through Friday) providing racing news, commentary, features, and information from Frontstretch.com