With the reassignment of Todd Parrott from atop the No. 17 team’s pit box and longtime Roush Fenway employee Jimmy Fennig likely only a short-term replacement, discussion about who is to become Matt Kenseth’s next crew chief is rampant. Who will wind up as the 2003 champ’s sixth head wrench since 2007? Here are some options.
10. Brad Parrott The name on the uniform wouldn’t have to be changed.
9. Jimmy Spencer Known for his supreme oratorical skills, plus he has more free time now that he is on SPEED Channel less often.
8. Michael Waltrip Semi-retired from driving, would never curse at Kenseth for wrecking a car.
7. Sterling Marlin Three words: “Car run good.”
6. Larry McReynolds Could use No. 17 as cutaway car after a crash, then interview self to save money on a pit reporter.
5. Jeremy Mayfield Application reads, “Will wrench for food.”
4. Erik Darnell No mechanical experience, but needs to work 40 hours per week to keep his Roush Fenway benefits.
3. Kate Gosselin Needs a break from spending each and every day with her eight kids, whom she never abandons for personal ambition.
2. Sarah Palin She didn’t need experience to run for Vice President. This is only NASCAR, right? Also, she can see a map of Charlotte from her house.
1. LeBron James NBA free agency begins Thursday… he’s on top of everyone’s list this summer.
Listen to Doug weekly on The Allan Vigil Ford Lincoln Mercury Speedshop racing show with host Captain Herb Emory each Saturday, from 12-1 p.m., on News/Talk 750 WSB in Atlanta and on wsbradio.com. Doug also hosts podcasts on ChaseElliott.com and BillElliott.com.
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