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Top Ten (Plus Five) Reasons Wal-Mart Will Not Be Sponsoring Jeff Gordon

*15.* Jeff Gordon never worked in a Chinese sweat shop.

*14.* Ingrid refused to put the children in anything that comes off the rack.

*13.* His race car is _not_ made in China.

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Ingrid’s refusal to clothe the kids in Wal-Mart’s best was a deal breaker for the retail giant.

*12.* They can get the same exposure touting Sam’s Club on Sam Hornish, Jr.’s car at half the price.

*11.* Wal-Mart refused to guarantee Gordon a job as a Wal-Mart greeter when his career ends because he doesn’t look creepy enough.

*10.* They found Rick Hendrick actually treats his employees well and cares
about their health, future, and well-being.

*9.* Look around. Being associated with NASCAR is becoming bad for business.

*8.* They really wanted Dale Earnhardt, Jr. because he has been spotted several times at Wal-Mart buying Wrangler jeans.

*7.* The Target car has kicked his ass all year.

*6.* Gordon’s proposed driving suit looked stupid with the giant smiley face on the back.

*5.* Wal-Mart decided the nation’s top retailer deserved a top driver.

*4.* Wal-Mart wanted to sponsor in bulk and wanted their name on _all_ the Hendrick cars.

*3.* Brian France stepped in because he’d be damned if, after all his ass-kissing in China a couple years ago, Wal-Mart goes and sponsors a race team and not the sanctioning body.

*2.* Hendrick Motorsports refused to dump Pepsi and AMP for Sam’s Choice.

*1.* Negotiations broke off because Wal-Mart execs wanted to Save More and Live Better, while Hendrick execs wanted them to Pay More for Jeff to Drive Better.

“Contact Jeff Meyer”:https://frontstretch.com/contact/14350/

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