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Top 10 Ways Denny Hamlin Can Ensure He Wins the Championship

10. Pulverize a water bottle before and after the race.

9. Remove Mike Ford’s foot from his mouth, so he can better understand him on the radio.

8. By not pulling a Michael Waltrip and showing up at the wrong track.

7. By not pulling a Michael Waltrip and… racing like Michael Waltrip.

6. Berate crew on the radio… because that’s very motivating.

5. Convince Jimmie Johnson that thumb rings are a fashion no-no.

4. Two steps: Drug Johnson. Remove horseshoe.

3. No pickup basketball!

2. When lapping Sam Hornish Jr., give him plenty of room.

1. Win the race, lead the most laps, deliver a curse-free victory lane interview and watch Chad Knaus’s head explode.

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