Race Weekend Central

BSNews!: Possible Sanctions for Junior After Practice Crash

Sources have confirmed for BSNews that NASCAR officials are positively fuming after Daytona 500 pole sitter, Dale Earnhardt, Jr., crashed during Wednesday’s Sprint Cup practice session.

“This is absolutely the last thing we needed at this point,” said a high ranking NASCAR official who wished to remain anonymous. “This thing has been scripted out for months. The directors and producers at FOX are screaming bloody murder and I don’t blame them.”

Just moments after wrecking in Wednesday’s practice, Dale Jr. put on the shades, signed some fan autographs and promptly ran in his hauler to hide from the wrath of “Sunday’s Film Director,” Brian Z. France.

While it is unclear if the anonymous official was ranking or just high, what is clear is that Junior will now have to go to a backup car. More importantly, he’ll have to go to the back of the field for the Sunday start of Brian’s Greatest Show on Earth.

“It was all going to be so cool,” the official explained. “Junior was scheduled to be leading the race on Lap 3. How the hell we are going to get him up front in 3 laps has everyone scrambling for ideas. I don’t know how it’s going to play out. He (Junior) assured us that this was his destiny and well within his talents, but then he goes and does this. All I know is that Brian has already called the lawyer team up and has had talks with Mike Helton about possible points sanctions for actions detrimental. All I know is that if he don’t make it to the front by the end… well, we don’t even want to go there!”

The whole fracas started when Junior (No. 88) and Jimmie Johnson (No. 48) were drafting in a two-car pack. The No. 48 slowed up to avoid another unusual two-car pack and the No. 88 got even more into the back of him. Consequently, another two-car pack, led by the No. 56 of Martin Truex, Jr. got into the No. 88, sending the No. 88 and the No. 56 spinning into the infield. Dale Jr. hit the inside SAFER barrier and bounced back into Truex.

Jimmie Johnson is said to have fully recovered from his loose rear end condition.

*In other BSNews; Daytona Edition…*

Brian Z. France, genius… and CEO of NASCAR, announced today that in light of the way the Bud Shootout went, NASCAR will change its strategy of trying to break up the paired drafting that seems inevitable for the upcoming race and embrace it instead.

“I have listened to the fans and am pleased to announce that, and I told FOX that this is just how its gonna be, that the entire race will be run to the lilting tunes of the popular artist, Tupac,” said France, attired not in his usual Armani suit but a black Fubu hoodie instead. “We tried to get him here to sing the National Anthem, but at this late stage in the game, I’m told he is busy with prior engagements. At any rate, and I say this with confidence for I have studied it long and hard, this will be just the thing, just the tip of the iceberg if you will, to get us “in” with today’s hip young culture. Two pack on the race track and Tupac on the soundtrack! YO!”

BSNews. Your first thought is our first name!

“Contact Jeff Meyer”:https://frontstretch.com/contact/14350/

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