*10.* With the change of NASCAR’s dress code for the garage area, the scenery around his stall and pits should be a heck of a lot nicer.
*9.* He’ll have an ice cream flavor/sundae named after him… too bad it’s not by Ben and Jerry.
*8.* He personally talked to Brian France and now realizes that, damn, Jeff Meyer was right all along.
*7.* He’ll finally realize that there really are way too many NASCAR-related television shows out there.
*6.* Won’t have to wear his “hard card” around his neck anymore and can keep it in his pants where it belongs.
*5.* He’ll come to the sudden realization that all of his future birthdays are probably gonna be downers in comparison.
*4.* UPS suddenly became his favorite shipping company and now has a wittier reply to “What can Brown do for you?”
*3.* Joined an elite group of three racers who won the first race of the season across NASCAR’s top 3 divisions. All of them scored exactly zero points under Brian’s new, easier-to-understand points system.
*2.* Uses a bit more confidence when hitting on stewardesses.
*1.* Has suddenly stopped taking Derrike Cope’s calls and prays to God he doesn’t become “that guy.”
“Contact Jeff Meyer”:https://frontstretch.com/contact/14350/
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