*10.* Thought the Red Impala up ahead was Kevin Harvick stopped at a crowded intersection, surrounded by innocent people with no clue he was “dropping by.”
*9.* “You know these damn Toyotas and the sticking accelerator pedals! Wait… did you say I was driving a Lexus?”
*8.* Too distracted texting votes for Kirstie Alley to win Dancing With the Stars… then blamed it on the “unnamed girl” in the passenger seat.
*7.* Distraught over Oprah calling it quits.
*6.* Somebody took the plate off.
*5.* Trying to pay Toyota/Lexus back for naming this new sports car after his nickname (LFA: Loudmouthed and Frickin’ Annoying).
*4.* Wanted to be first in line at the KBM yard sale.
*3.* Coming home from his classes at the Michael Waltrip Academy of Offensive Street Driving and was looking for a motorcyclist.
*2.* Joe Gibbs had texted the Apocalypse was only delayed by 72 hours, max, so he wanted to dress nice for the Rapture.
*1.* Thought officers would place him on NASCAR probation… not actually get him in trouble by dishing out a real ticket.
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