*10.* Change his name to “Keni” so the other NASCAR drivers will stop making fun of him.
*9.* Hang out with Charlie Sheen so maybe he, too, can be WINNING!
*8.* Hang out at the Uptown Cabaret in downtown Charlotte.
*7.* Take Dancing With the Stars by storm.
*6.* Ditto American Idol… no wait, that won’t work… he’s Finnish.
*5.* Get someone to loan him a fancy Lexus like Kyle Busch.
*4.* Date Danica.
*3.* Try his hand at NASCAR (but harder this time).
*2.* Collect money for the Alabama and Missouri tornado victims.
*1.* Secure a dual sponsorship, combining Perky Jerky and ExtenZe so people will REALLY love his meat.
“Contact Jeff Meyer”:https://frontstretch.com/contact/14350/
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