*Bruton Smith vs. Humpy Wheeler*
After his recent announcement that he does in fact, endorse gay marriage, President Barack Obama jumped at the chance to bring two men from the stock car racing world together as one in the form of Bruton Smith and Humpy Wheeler.
Bruton and Humpy, as they are affectionately known to their friends, have been at odds recently over which one of them first had the idea to run a race under lights, 20 years ago, at Charlotte Motor Speedway. While Bruton and Humpy had been in a relationship that lasted nearly 33 years, they have for the most part, been separated for almost four years now.
Recognizing the possible positive political gains among members of the ‘NASCAR voting bloc’ or ‘NASCAR Dads’ as they have become known, President Obama sent special envoy, Al Gore, to meet with the couple in the hopes that some sort of compromise could be reached and the two would be all lovey dovey again.
At the end of the meeting, which was held in Charlotte, N.C., it was announced that in fact, it was Gore himself who invented the concept of racing the nation’s top stock car series under the lights at night. Gore said he distinctly remembers doing it for his long time friend and supporter, Brian France.
Bruton and Humpy were seen leaving in separate vehicles, presumably powered by Sunoco fuel, after the meeting. (BSNews)
*Blood from a turnip! (From BSNews; Opinion Page)*
We here in the BSNews Op Ed department like to let you know when we think something REALLY IS the epitome of our name, and the case of Mary E. Bolton vs Jeremy and Shana Mayfield is a shining example!
Long story short…Bolton is an employee of the United States Postal Service in the delivery department. In other words, she’s a mailwoman. Seems Bolton had a package for the Mayfields that was too big to fit in the box outside the gate to their sprawling, since repossessed and auctioned off, country estate.
Bolton drove through the gate, past a ‘No Trespassing’ and a ‘Beware of Dogs’ sign and attempted to deliver the package whereupon she was attacked by Mayfield’s five pitbull/lab mix dogs. The Mayfields broke up the dogs, carried Bolton into the house and gave her assistance as they called 911.
Bolton sued the Mayfields and a judge recently awarded her one million dollars.
Really? At what point are we going to start holding people responsible for their own actions? This woman drove past warning signs and stupidly got out of the vehicle! Why not just honk the horn until someone comes out to get the package? I know for a fact that USPS employees are given rigorous training and rigid guidelines when it comes to dealing with potentially dangerous dogs. Heck, half the time they will not even deliver your mail if a dog turd is even sighted within 10 feet of your mailbox! How many guidelines did Bolton break in this case? How come no one is talking about that? What happened to her better judgment? Signs, big dogs…stay in the vehicle!
Here’s a thought…how about leaving that little USPS note in the mailbox that tells you that ‘you have a package too big for your box, please pick it up at the Post Office’!?
Bolton claims she is now suffering from the ever popular ‘post traumatic stress syndrome’. Give me a break! Save the PTSD for our veterans who see some REALLY nasty sh…stuff. Dealing SMARTLY with potentially dangerous dogs is like the first thing they teach at postal school.
Yeah, it sucks that Mary E. Bolton was attacked, but she was attacked as a direct result of a string of bad decisions on her part. The funny part of all this, Jeremy Mayfield is so broke, he couldn’t get out of sight if it cost a quarter to go around the world. Ms. Bolton better call J.G. Wentworth!
*Danica admits she needs help driving.*
Most racers rely on their spotter to tell them when they are clear in traffic. Unlike most drivers on the street who simply DON’T look as they negotiate traffic every day, NASCAR drivers actually CAN’T…thus the need for a spotter.
For Danica Patrick, the role of a spotter goes a little deeper.
“As a driver you just need to have someone on the radio that you click with. Everybody needs something different. For me, I need someone … I’m going to say, almost drive the car. Like, tell me you’re turning in too early, tell me be patient with the throttle; OK, pick it up. I need somebody that is familiar with those patterns, because I’m not.”
Ok Danica, you just sit there and look pretty, we’ll tell ya what to do! Who wants to bet Danica’s spotter get blamed for a lot of wrecks?
Tony Stewart got it. Tony Stewart thought he was funny. Apparently Tony Stewart seems to be the only one!
NASCAR, on the other hand, is too stupid to know Stewart’s recent comments were directed at them.
“In NASCAR’s opinion, these comments were made by a driver who clearly was not pleased with how his day finished. They were not disparaging given the context in which he delivered them nor were they a direct shot at the sport,” said AP’s Jenna Fryer, presumably speaking for NASCAR.
BSNews; your first thought is our first name!
Stay off the wall,
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