Voices From the Cheap Seats: NASCAR Missing a Golden Marketing Opportunity

Once you realize that the world has gone completely, stark-raving mad around you, it will save you an immense amount of stress, not to mention therapy bills, if you simply shrug your shoulders, say ‘what the hell’ and just go with it.

In that light, I am going to present an idea here (or possibly spill the beans?) that could possibly make Brian France and family move up from being ‘insanely rich from the pockets of the little man’ to ‘I can buy my own little world if I want to’ rich.

Remember the old racing adage ‘Win on Sunday, Sell on Monday?’ While many misguided marketers (as well as NASCAR) insist it is still true, I have, for many years now, strongly asserted that it simply isn’t true. NASCAR racecars have been so strictly regulated in the name of parity for so long that they bear no resemblance to their so-called street counterparts.

Any team out there, at any given moment, could decide to switch ‘manufacturers’ and still make it for the next week’s race. The only difference between manufacturers is a few engine differences and a new set of decals. NASCAR is so far removed from its actual name of ‘stock car’ that someone should sue them for false advertising.

Get ready for the next generation!

Chevy has announced that a new car will be gracing the tracks beginning with the next racing season. Behold the Chevrolet SS!

No, not a Camaro SS. Not an Impala SS. Not a Monte Carlo SS no, it’s simply billed as the Chevrolet SS.

While many of us older farts fell in love with a variety of SS models during the ’60s and ’70s, this new one is actually going to be an import from Australia! I find it very ironic actually and I want to ask this question … what have all the ‘imported Toyota’ haters got to say about this!?

Remember the hatred when NASCAR allowed Toyota to race their version of a ‘foreign’ car that is actually built here? Will there be an outcry now that a ‘US’ automaker is racing a version of a car built overseas? Personally I could care less. Put a different engine in it and a new set of decals on it and you can call it anything you want!

The marketing idea I spoke of however, was sparked by this bit of a quote from the Chevy press release from some executive that you’ve never heard of.

“I am delighted to say that Chevrolet will deliver a true rear-wheel-drive NASCAR racecar in the SS that very closely links the performance sedan that will be available for sale.”

Here’s the idea. Since the bodies of all NASCAR racecars are identical anyway, why doesn’t Brian France simply ‘brand’ his own car that could be manufactured by all of the current competitors in NASCAR?

What I’m talking about here is a ‘street version’ of the unique ‘NASCAR’ Ford or a NASCAR Chevy, complete with spoiler, splitters and ‘shark fins’! Something like the ‘Eddie Bauer’ edition Fords. (Just who WAS Eddie Bauer anyway?!)

The option packages are endless. You could get the number of your favorite driver on the door, all the cool decals, everything! No, I’m not talking about 800-horsepower engines in them. Knowing NASCAR, it would probably only come with a four-cylinder engine in the name of ‘going green.’ No, I’m simply suggesting the unique NASCAR body on a completely street-legal vehicle.

If NASCAR were to do something like this, they could make the old adage work solely for them and rake in billions!

Gee, for a guy who is supposedly a ‘marketing genius,’ I’m surprised Brian hasn’t thought of this before.

And now for something completely different …

Jimmy Spencer, aka ‘Mr. Excitement’ has announced that he intends to become ‘Mr. Ordinary’ and retire from his broadcasting duties. Jimmy plans to travel, take up gardening and other ordinary hobbies as he moves back to his native Pennsylvania.

I wish Jimmy all the best in his future endeavors, but I solemnly ask (and I think I can speak for millions here), before you go, could you please have another ‘chat’ with Kurt Busch!? We sure would appreciate it!

Speaking of Kurt Busch …

This week’s Top 10 list explored the possible reasons for Kurt’s actions on pit road this last week. Now, I don’t know if my editors thought I got a bit personal or what, but here’s the deal. One of the best reasons I listed, in my opinion, read ’One of the pins in his ears popped out causing his helmet to become stuck when he tried to take it off.’

I thought, apparently wrongly, this was pretty funny seeing as how Kurt actually said that his helmet got stuck as he tried to take it off, temporarily obstructing his vision. If you remember a few years back, Kurt actually had a cosmetic procedure done to reduce the width from ear tip to ear tip. In press releases at the time, it was referred to as ‘having his ears pinned back’

Perhaps I hit a little too close to home for some of the editorial staff, I don’t know. All I know is that I thought it was darn funny. There were lamer excuses on the list, yet that was the only one that got edited. Maybe I’ll bend their ears a little and find out why. I just wanted you all to know!

Stay off the wall,

Jeff Meyer