NASCAR Race Weekend Central

Top Ten Items NASCAR Hasn’t Caught This Year During Post-Race Inspection

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Jimmie Johnson’s wind-cheating teflon coated beard hairs.

*10.* Keselowski’s dash-mounted beer injection system.

*9.* Danica’s super-sized restrictor plate (3 times).

*8.* The fully functional “Oil Slick” and “Nails” buttons Kyle Busch had installed in the 18 car a la James Bond. Bwaaahhahaha so that’s why Jeff Gordon keeps blowing tires…

*7.* Jeff Gordon ordering mac and cheese rather than mashed potatoes and gravy.

*6.* Kevin Harvick’s right side ballast lead baby seat in the back of the No. 29 car.

*5.* Tony Stewart’s body double for driver’s meetings, the Michelin Man.

*4.* Unapproved New York City phone books packed on top of Jason Leffler’s driver’s seat.

*3.* Travis Kvapil’s Burger King Bacon Sundae Tire Soak.

*2.* Juan Pablo Montoya’s Jet Dryer Heat Seeker device.

*1.* The jet afterburner in Dale Jr.’s Batmobile… er, race car.

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