NASCAR Race Weekend Central

Top 10 Improvements Pocono Raceway Should Make Next

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Convince this guy to shave that ridiculous beard to help reduce the drag while he’s racing. Be sure to bat your eyelashes, too … you know that’s how Genevieve gets what she wants out of him.

*10.* Loop-de-loop that doubles as Turn 4. We know it can be done after “Tanner Foust and Greg Tracy did it at the X Games!”:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0Y8tmRYYiA

*9.* Giant sinkhole placed on the outside groove of the Tunnel Turn. Hey, it’s the drivers’ fault for saying it’s gotten too easy!

*8.* Pace car replaced by herd of local deer. Cars must follow regardless of where they wind up.

*7.* Blindfold the leader every 50 laps and see just how good his spotter really is.

*6.* Control the restart by having the random drunk guy in Section 405, Row C press a button whenever he feels like it. (Hey, anything can be better than what we have now!)

*5.* Hire start-and-park driver to come out of the pits every ten laps only to block Tony Stewart, Kyle Busch, and Kurt Busch. Then throw a caution flag to bunch up the entire field and see what happens.

*4.* Snow machine. Turn 1. It’s not like they’re being used in June and August!

*3.* Add a “gap jump”:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DWAbC_f57U at the start / finish line to give real meaning to the term “Long Pond” straightaway. Then we’d really see who had the guts to go all out!

*2.* Lobby NASCAR to run the track backward … if you think it’s tricky enough now…

*1.* Continue doing exactly what they have been since it’s worked so well already.

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