Race Weekend Central

Top Ten Reasons Dodge is Really Leaving NASCAR

Sick of getting beat every week by some goofball in a beard and a clown wig.

*10.* MOPAR engines only work their best when fully carbureted. Screw this fuel injection crap, we’re outta here!

*9.* Tired of incessant comparisons to “Dodge-Em” bumper cars every stinking time someone used the chrome horn.

*8.* “NASCAR? We don’t need no stinking NASCAR!”

*7.* Top execs running the company DO have ADHD–we’re in! We’re out! We’re in again! We’re out!–and were afraid they too would test positive for Adderall.

*6.* NASCAR’s refusal to consider the Fiat 500 with 6.3 Hemi power as next year’s Nationwide entry.

*5.* Decals simply becoming too expensive to make a kit car look like a Charger.

*4.* Fiat actually stands for “Fix it again, Tony” and Stewart wasn’t interested in switching makes.

*3.* Figured if they can’t have Allmendinger, they don’t want nobody!

*2.* Couldn’t settle petty differences with Richard to keep the program going forward.

*1.* Didn’t realize zero percent interest programs would also apply to their brand after Penske said he was leaving.

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