NASCAR Race Weekend Central

Top Ten Things Wild Card Hopefuls Have Up Their Sleeves for Richmond

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Put itching powder in Jimmie Johnson’s helmet so he gets distracted and causes a three-car wreck…oh, wait, someone already used that one…

*10.* Spare helmets and water bottles on standby… just in case.

*9.* Cans of sardines mysteriously turning up under driver’s seats on a hot night.

*8.* A jet dryer all fueled up and ready to blow.

*7.* Two words – Kevin Harvick.

*6.* James Bond-esque control panel in the car with buttons marked smoke screen, oil slick, ball bearings, thumbtacks and hand grenades.

*5.* Brian France’s little-known idea for racing excitement–quicksand traps in the middle of the corners.

*4.* Helicopters carrying pianos which will be dropped on rival contenders if said contenders are running well.

*3.* A “loose” oil line that conveniently drops oil in the competition’s path.

*2.* Lots of brownies and chocolate chip cookies show up in competitors’ haulers…but those aren’t exactly chocolate chips…

*1.* Local Walmart suddenly inexplicably out of both peanuts and green spray paint.

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