*10.* A deadly combo of the mullet and the porn ‘stache become mandatory for all of 2013.
*9.* Must hold Brad Keselowski’s cell phone during every race.
*8.* Ordered to become Kurt Busch’s emergency public relations representative, hired for inappropriate / crisis situations only.
*7.* Must act as Nur Ali’s permanent driver coach.
*6.* Trade rides with Dave Blaney for 2013 to see how much talent _really_ matters these days.
*5.* Clint Bowyer gets another shot at running up to that hauler door… with no cops or crew to stop him.
*4.* Has to sit at the children’s table at Sprint Cup banquet.
*3.*Forced to sit through 48 straight hours of Jimmie Johnson’s championship celebrations, set on a continuous loop.
*2.* Must write “I will not put other drivers in the wall if they are running for a championship” 100 times before he’s allowed on track for practice every week…
*1.* Has to bring back the DuPont rainbow scheme until NASCAR decides he’s learned his lesson.
A daily email update (Monday through Friday) providing racing news, commentary, features, and information from Frontstretch.com
We hate spam. Your email address will not be sold or shared with anyone else.