Race Weekend Central

Top Ten Costumes Seen At The NASCAR Halloween Party

*10.* *Danica Patrick:* Wears a seductive costume, exposing as much skin as possible, then bumps into the person holding the candy, yells at them as if it’s their fault and then has her agent swoop in and steal it.

*9.* *Mystery Debris:* Unknown guest pretends to be invisible, then jumps out at inappropriate times, screaming to change the vibe of the party before making out with one random person just to “make their night.” (AKA Hand them the race)

Top Ten Likely Causes For The Big One This Weekend

*10.* Tony Stewart tries to goose Kevin Harvick on the backstretch.

*9.* Kasey Kahne and Casey Mears compare insurance policies, and there’s a heated incident with a gecko and a fire extinguisher…

*8.* Jeff Gordon, showcasing his ability to find new ways to lose this season, will be wrecked when a meteor hits the hood of his car, taking the field with him.

Top Ten Pre-Race Rituals for Chasers Other Than Tony Stewart

*10.* Jeff Gordon: Burns an effigy of the creator of The Chase. After all, if not for him, he’d have five, maybe six Championships.

*9.* Kyle Busch: Something different than he had been doing before the Chase, obviously.

*8.* Martin Truex, Jr.: Nothing really as he keeps forgetting that he’s actually IN the Chase.

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