10. Kevin Harvick – “Finally, I’ve decided to join the Ricky Rudd Fan Club. I’ll miss you, Ricky!”
10. The season is NOT 37 races long!
10. Jeff Gordon Rethinking Hiring Practices. Wait – on second thought, that one isn’t so farfetched…
10. Other drivers hire Tonya Harding to give both Jimmie and Jeffy a good “knee whacking.”
10. Demolition Denny – Looks almost like your local FedEx carrier, but comes with crumpled sheetmetal and an empty but mysteriously wet gas can.
10. There IS a God after all!
10. “Dude, I can’t hear a word you say… are you sure you have the radio on?”
I wanted to leave all of these 10 blank, but the editors – while agreeing that the list would indeed be factual – also felt that it would be a “cop out” on my part, and insisted I actually list something this week. Apparently, they are onto me… note that they (the editors) are NOT on the list!
12. Denny Hamlin – Gets rubbed by a pit lizard.
10. “Look at that! Kyle’s glasses are all steamed over. Ya think he’s upset about something?” – Anonymous Hamlin Crew Member