*10.* Entire pit crew kidnapped by space aliens midrace.
*9.* In a fit of rage, Kurt Busch slugs him after mistaking him for a reporter.
*8.* DuPont sponsorship replaced by Planter’s Peanuts; contract requires the No. 24 Chevy to be painted bright green. New contract also requires Jeff to wear the “Mr. Peanut” suit (complete with top hat and monocle).
*10.* He was still upset Newt Gingrich dropped out of the Presidential race.
*9.* Confused Ryan Newman with that Lexus one of his Penske engineers used to drive. Just wanted to come by and say “hello.”
*8.* Been hanging out at Jeremy Mayfield’s place a lot lately… oh that’s right, Jeremy doesn’t have a place anymore.
*10.* As a racer, despite a few wins, he always was a bit slow.
*9.* Tough to get cell reception from under a bridge, making communication with his lawyer almost impossible.
*8.* Can’t find a ride… to the courthouse.
*10.* Juan Pablo Montoya thinks the jet drier should count for ten cautions, so he’s done wrecking people for half the year.
*9.* Jimmy Spencer is sitting home on a couch. And so is Robby Gordon… and Buckshot Jones…
*8.* Someone finally told Kyle Busch that “through the field” wasn’t supposed to be taken literally.
*10.* The NASCAR season started already?
*9.* The green flag runs were so long, Al Roker reported that some of the recent tornadoes in the area were traced to Darrell Waltrip’s “vortex” theory.
*8.* I was able to watch a rose bloom from my front porch.
*7.* No overtime for the race track wall painter this week.