*10.* Chad Knaus had some officials to take care of.
*9.* If that didn’t work, Chad Knaus had some officials “to take care of.”
*8.* Brian France hoped to hire that guy who did so good with that king in “The King’s Speech.”
*10.* Slowest car in first segment has to be driven into jet dryer at high speed.
*9.* Fans supplied with water balloons and launchers.
*8.* Karaoke contest replaces fan vote for final entry.
*10.* Denver Broncos’ management has more money than brains. Then, after a few minutes he actually remembered what sport he was supposed to be working on!
*9.* Rescinded the penalty of “quality time with significant other” for Chad Knaus.
*10.* “To nail us on a C-post, you actually need an official who can _see_ the _post_.”
*9.* “If you think the C-posts were bad, you should have checked the A-posts.”
*8.* “Junior Johnson took a look and said they were legit.”
*10.* Realized that a MWR Cup ride is a lateral move at best, compared to a RCR Nationwide ride (‘Bird in the hand’ so to speak)
*9.* Had brother Hermie and friend Ward Burton handling the negotiations and even Mikey got frustrated and tired of saying “What?”
*8.* He rarely won in Roberts Yates’ equipment in Cup…MWR stuff? Really?!
*10.* “Is the line at the Porta-Potty still a mile long? I’m dying here!”
*9.* “What is this…. an episode of ‘American _Idle_’?”
*8.* Ryan Newman to anyone who would listen: “Did you hear the joke about how many NASCAR drivers it takes to blow up a jet dryer? Just Juan!!”
*10.* Less Danica already!
*9.* Good odds from my bookie as to whether a Busch brother will make a complete ass of themselves sometime during the year.
*8.* Brian France to reassure us as many times as possible during the year of just how good of shape the sport is in because he is so eloquent and such a pleasure to listen to.
*10.* NASCAR, in an attempt to fill the auditorium, drops off a set of free tickets at every strip club. Clothing optional. (Hey, they can’t make it look empty…)
*9.* Kyle Busch visits the Ethel M Chocolate Factory and Botanical Cactus Garden, is denied entry and winds up in a “sticky” situation.
*8.* Tony and Carl jump into some sand buggys and finally settle it on dirt.
*10.* A Martinsville hot dog-eating contest.
*9.* Rock, paper, scissors.
*8.* An official “Oreo Double Stuf Racing League” competition. Tony’s got an edge.
*10.* Must endure daily, three-hour lectures on “the power of staying positive” by Michael “Motormouth” Waltrip.
*9.* Forced to subsist on failed M&M candy that melts in his hand, not in his mouth until further notice.
*8.* Order Kyle to deliver pink slips, unarmed, to all the Kevin Harvick, Inc. employees losing their jobs.
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