Race Weekend Central

Top Ten Things Brian Vickers DIDN’T Run Into at Martinsville

*10.* The open space between other cars.

*9. An offer of discounted rates on insurance – especially after installing Progressive’s Snapshot Discount device given to him by some chick named Flo.

*8.* An offer of a 2012 ride by any other team — even bad ones.

Top Ten Things Overheard On the Drivers’ Radios at Talladega

*10.* “See, Greg? I told you, if we take it easy, we can enjoy these five-dollar footlongs during the race! Am I a genius, or what?”

*9.* “Please don’t let him go all Robby Gordon on me, please don’t let him go all Robby Gordon on me…”

*8.* “Michael, you’re not going to do the same thing to me that you did to Reutty in the 500, are you?” “Of course not, Bobby. You have my word…oops.”

Top Ten Ways The World Will Remember Dan Wheldon

_Hello, readers! Though we normally try to write our Top Ten lists to keep you chuckling, this week, we pause to remember Dan Wheldon. Our thoughts and prayers remain with his family, friends and everyone in the racing community after the tragedy that unfolded Sunday out in Las Vegas._

*10.* A Champion truly worthy.

*9.* The “Danica Who?” T-Shirts he had made when he won his first Indy 500 and she got the cover of SI instead.

Top Ten Possible Sponsors for RWI and Steven Wallace in 2012

*10.* Two-And-A-Half Hour Energy Drink for half the year. That’s pretty much all they can afford for a guy like Steven.

*9.* Fifty Cent Colonel, a halfly-owned subsidiary of Dollar General.

*8.* The _Crash Test Dummies’_ latest album.

Top Ten Reasons Kurt Busch’s Car Is Always Late For Pre-Race Inspection

*10.* Asked Joe Menzer and Jenna Fryer for directions to the inspection line.

*9.* Blocked in stall by a giant, red Lowe’s pit box filled with Kobalt Tools.

*8.* Team given a 15-minute timeout for cussing once Kurt accidentally mistook an official for Steve Addington.

*7.* Lost in thought reading Chad Knaus’ setup book: “Coloring Around The Gray Area: Getting Away With Technical Murder Since 1996.”

Top Ten “Yeah, Right! Whatever You Say” Statements

*10.* “Newman hits like a girl.” – Juan Pablo Montoya

*9.* “There are some normal things that you can do in life too, I hear. Hopefully we can experience some of those.” – Kevin Harvick on the reasoning behind closing KHI

*8.* “I’ll just be a few more minutes.” – A Woman

Top 10 Ways To Lose The Chase For The Sprint Cup Championship

*10.* Win the Daytona 500.

*9.* Drive for RCR, JGR, SHR, Penske or any team not name Hendrick Motorsports.

*8.* Take up any other driver on his invitation to join him at the all you can eat buffet at Senor Jose’s Taco Hut before the race.

Top Ten Driver Introduction Songs You Didn’t Hear From Bristol

*10.* *For Matt Kenseth:* “Mr. Roboto” by Styx.

*9.* *For David Ragan:* “It’s Hot In Here” by Nelly (played from inside the driver’s seat, quietly, with UPS executives writing up pink slips in the background).

*8.* *For Carl Edwards:* “A Horse Is A Horse, Of Course, Of Course” by Mr. Ed. Sung by the singing trio of a talking horse, the AFLAC Duck, and suspiciously out of tune by Brad Keselowski.

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