Top Ten

*10.* Threatened to have his lawyer hold the door open of the NASCAR trailer so next time, he could, “Run away! Run away!”

*9.* That next time, he wouldn’t be so easy to hold back!

*8.* Threatened to… ”diga a prensa lo que dijo su ex esposa a mí sobre usted en cama anoche.”

*10.* It started off with “Yo Mama…” ’nuff said.

*9.* You think I roughed Coulter up, wait until you see what I do to your pansy grandkids.

*8.* How long have you been sporting that rug?

*10.* Change his name to “Keni” so the other NASCAR drivers will stop making fun of him.

*9.* Hang out with Charlie Sheen so maybe he, too, can be WINNING!

*8.* Hang out at the Uptown Cabaret in downtown Charlotte.

*10.* Thought the Red Impala up ahead was Kevin Harvick stopped at a crowded intersection, surrounded by innocent people with no clue he was “dropping by.”

*9.* “You know these damn Toyotas and the sticking accelerator pedals! Wait… did you say I was driving a Lexus?”

*8.* Too distracted texting votes for Kirstie Alley to win Dancing With the Stars… then blamed it on the “unnamed girl” in the passenger seat.

*10.* Reduces those long annoying lines at the landfill of people trying to get rid of their old phone.

*9.* If you trade it for paper tickets, it helps get rid of flatulent trees.

*8.* One less person on a frickin’ cell phone while at the wheel of their land barge SUV will probably save the lives of three motorcyclists, thus reducing the emissions of rescue/cleanup vehicles.

*10.* How Kyle Busch didn’t stick to the script and ran away like a little school girl as Harvick approached his car.

*9.* Reminding Kevin that, while it was good he had his wheels turned towards the curb, next time, remember to set the parking brake before getting out of the car.

*8.* Brian France wanted them to be the first to know that Donald Trump wants him to be his running mate in 2012. (But only if Brian does something different with his hair and can provide a copy of his birth certificate.)

*10.* The spotter said “clear.”

*9.* The sun was in my eyes.

*8.* The water bottle I threw out the window didn’t draw the caution I needed.

_For this week’s Top Ten, I did a little something different. I posted the topic on Facebook (on my page and the Frontstretch Writers page) and let the fans come up with the list! That’s not saying I didn’t fine tune a few submissions, but for the most part, if you don’t like the list, be mad at your peers, not me!!_

*10.* Ken Schrader hasn’t, why should Mikey?

*9.* Because he’s in love with himself and can’t stand to hear anything but the sound of his own voice. Oh wait, that’s his brother…

*8.* Because there just aren’t enough wrecks without him.

*10.* His mind has been busy with luring former Formula 1 hothead and party boy Kimi Raikkonen into his stable.

*9.* Has been told not to push his Joe Gibbs Racing Toyota engine too hard.

*8.* He’s maturing? Oh, say it ain’t so!